I have an issue with my bank - I'm shopping around for a fair one! Is there bank out there who won't take every loose penny from you, especially when you have a slight negative balance, through unforeseen circumstances? I wrote this to a bank I'm checking out, and felt like blogging it. If I treated my customers the way banks treat theirs....

"My wife and I are shopping around for a bank that does not charge accessive fees. We had an issue with our current bank because a creditor unexpectedly debited our account twice on the same day and our account was overdrawn by $35. As usual excessive amounts of time are wasted only to receive standard replies and leave you feeling like the bank is the one who is financially struggling on, and it's our fault. The bank in question charged us $30. We live from week to week, check our accounts everyday, try to keep them in the black. Occasionally they dip under a bit in circumstances like this. Sometime we miss something, but we try. I notice you charge $27.50. I would like to know why you banks charge such a huge penalty for minor issues? I've asked my bank - they just give me all the nonsense I've described above! We know all that. We want a bank that gives the opportunity to redress a slight negative balance before a fee is imposed, and charges only what it truly costs the bank for minor incidents - at present your fee is less that our current bank, but obviously still excessive. It cannot cost a bank that much! Will the ------ Bank step up and be just, instead of profiting from misfortune? Are you worthy of the financial challenges and needs of an everyday family?
Felling angry!
Matthew Bell."

PS. It's not the bank I list on eBay for payments!

Freud was wrong - it's not the children who need therapy from their potty training experience it's the parents who train them! I think my (almost) 3 year old thinks he's Peter Pan - the boy who never grew up! Maybe I need Nanny McPhee to magically intervene and create magical, if uncomfortable consequences for potty misdemeanors by my little guy. Actually then he probably would need therapy, but that doesn't mean the movie isn't fun!!

In fact he's doing quite well, and trying very hard. One big attraction for him is that he gets to flush the toilet, he just hasn't got everything in the right order yet. He wants to get it ready I suppose, when he unreels the toilet roll into the toilet bowl, presses the button, does his thing, tells me he wants to go potty after the fact, removes his nappy, tips the contents into the bowl, then sits on the potty. "Well done Elijah, clever boy, you're a big boy now aren't you!"

A couple of weeks ago, I was doing my eBay thing. Not able to get my attention, I guess he took matters into his own hands. Suddenly I could hear him kicking something around on the lino. There he was, pants around his ankles because he couldn't get them over his shoes, no nappy, trying to straddle his plastic potty, but only succeeding in kicking it along the floor - bad dad!! So I picked him up and sat him down on his desired destination. Cleaning him up and feeling good that he was making progress I sat down again to cries of "Show me, show me!" Tranlation - "Come here dad, and I won't stop badgering you until you do!" Rounding the corner (I'd forgotten there had been a nappy on him before this event) there it was - this is why adults need therapy stemming from potty training!! I wish I was Peter Pan (think happy thoughts.) - help me Nanny McPhee!!

I was talking to my good friend Keith this morning at school drop-off and he was asking me how my oldest son, Josh (13) is adapting to High School - specifically do I still need to tie his tie for him!!. No I don't - I did it for him perhaps twice, and he hasn't asked me since. It's also a big thing that his mum is a teacher at his School which is 25 KMs (about 16 miles) from where we live. He travels with his mum, but chooses to catch public transport home (a bus and two trains). Takes him 1 1/2 hours. So yes our relationship is changing as he get older. He's growing into a man. What he needs from me now, is not what my 2 year old son needs from me as a father. I'm needing to negotiate more than enforce boundaries consistently for his protection. I'm needing to let him make some of his own decisions, and make his own mistake. Of course until he is an adult, I reserve right of veto!!

Keith and I agreed that boys struggle if they have an absent father whether that be emotionally absent or physically absent. It does have an impact on the man they become. Whereas in days gone by, adolescent boys worked with their dads, with the industrial revolution, dad usually goes to work without him. Many times a boy growing into manhood is left to himself to develop his values, and be initiated into what it means to be a man. These days many boys are initiated in destructive ways by their peers, rather than positive ways by their dads - manhood too often is defined by what a man can get away with, rather than what he can give. Dads need to talk, to play and to work with their sons, and do challenging things together - like camping, fishing, mountain climbing. And dads, if you can take your sons to work with you sometimes - more is caught than taught and they are watching you. My experience is that I have had great conversations with Josh when we have worked alongside each other. He learns skills and values too, interacts with  a diverse group of people - gains a good sense of who he is, and where he fits in the world. And men, if you know boys who through no fault of there own have no dad, then befriend them, do stuff with them, even take them to work if you can. It could hugely impact that boys life and future relationships.

I began this blog to advertise The Remote Control 4WD Monster Truck in my store at present, which is something Fathers and Sons could share as a common interest, so I've given it a plug, but feel that I've spoiled what I've said by tagging on a commercial. Still I need to provide for him as well, so maybe it's not so bad. Even if you don't buy it - Initiate yours sons into positve, strong, loving and courageous manhood. What a difference it would make!

Well, can a cat sleep on a dog blanket? The eternal question; never had that one in my philosophy class!! Cats eat dogs' food, but you can't de-flea a cat with doggy de-fleaing stuff apparently - you can make your kitty very sick. So can a cat sleep on a dog's blanket? Well, if the cat doesn't mind that doggy smell, doggy drool, and of course if the dog isn't there. My cat sleeps on my bed, so I guess the cat sleeps wherever it darn well chooses. From my experience - woe betide the dog who trys to remove the cat from the doggy blanket!(No I don't sleep on a dog blanket - although from the quality of these blankets advertised in my store...lucky dog!!!). Why does the dog get the 100% 550 GSM Australian wool blanket? Now there's a question for my philosophy class!

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