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BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR!! POSTIVE AND GIVING PERSON!! DONT FORGET HONEST!!
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HERS A JOKE FOR YA.. HUGS.. JEWELS

Posted Sep-12-08 13:14:04 PDT
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something 'exciting' and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.

Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.

'It's a period,' he replied.

'I can see that,' said the teacher, 'but what is so 'exciting' about a period?'

'Darned if I know,' he said, 'but this morning my sister was missing one. Mommy fainted, Daddy got mad, and the boy next door joined the Navy..
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GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS.. HUGS AND LOVE COMING AT YA! JEWELS

Posted Sep-08-08 04:50:39 PDT
 BEST POEM IN THE WORLD!
 
      I was shocked, confused, bewildered
       As I entered Heaven's door,
       Not by the beauty of it all,
       Nor the lights or its decor.

       But it was the folks in Heaven
       Who made me sputter and gasp--
       The thieves, the liars, the sinners ,
       The alcoholics and the trash.

        There stood the kid from seventh grade
        Who swiped my lunch money twice.
        Next to him was my old neighbor
        Who never said anything nice.

       Herb, who I always thought
       Was rotting away in hell,
       Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
       Looking incredibly well.

       I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
       I would love to hear Your take.
       How'd all these sinners get up here?
       God must've made a mistake.

      'And why's everyone so quiet,
       So somber - give me a clue.'
      'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all
      in shock.
      No one thought they'd be seeing you.'


    JUDGE NOT.

    Remember...Just going to church
    doesn't make you a Christian any mor e than
    standing in your garage makes you a car.
 
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THIS IS FUNNY!!! JEWELS GOD BLESS GOOD MORNING ALL U EBAYERS!

Posted Aug-14-08 05:37:00 PDT
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years
and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit
your job today and that was the last straw. 

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal
and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that
connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever
the case, I'm gone!

Your EX-Husband 
 
 P.S. don't try to find me! Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

**************************

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married
for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much
because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when
you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'

Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And
when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped
eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I
prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all
of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. 

So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica But when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. 

My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
 
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JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING TO MAKE U SMILE.. JEWELS

Posted Aug-12-08 12:01:52 PDT
 
Hillbilly Birth 

Deep in the back woods,of  FLOYD County Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, 'Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!' 

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think theres another one coming...' 

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!' Said the doctor. 

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby 'No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!' cried the doctor.
 
The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, . . . . .. 





'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?'
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THIS IS TOUCHING, GET OUT YOUR KLEENEX! ALWAYS REMEMBER GOD IS NEAR & GIVES U STRENGTH THRU EVERYTHING. NEVER GIVE UP.. I DONT!! LOVE U ALL .. GOOD MORNING

Posted Jul-11-08 06:53:58 PDT
THIS IS SO TOUCHING. Have your Kleenex ready.



A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?'
The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'.
They went on to complete the marathon together.
Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying
'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together.
One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.'

To which, his father said 'Yes'.
For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race
encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean
swim, followed by a 112 mile (180 .2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a
26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island .

Father and son went on to complete the race together.

PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO IT PUTS A WHOLE NEW VIEW ON THIS STORY!!
It isn't very long!!

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513%20
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