If you live in a city that has public transportation, find out if they provide paratransit services.  I mention this because I did not know about the paratransit services in my city until I had been disabled for five years.  In my city, one applies for acceptance into the paratransit system, and then gets an appointment for a face-to-face evaluation at the main office.  The entire process takes a few weeks.

The good: being able to get around without paying 5 times (or more) the cost in cab fare, and not having to hope that someone will give you a ride.  The limits: there is often an hour, or more, wait for the ride back home - my paratransit system requires that one be at their destination for at least 90 minutes to allow for any delays (traffic, etc.); there is a limit of 2 carry-on bags (no major grocery shopping) with a 20 pound-per-bag weight limit; and trips have to be scheduled at least 24 hours in advance - no last minute trips via paratransit.  I always take a book to read when I use paratransit, and I use my own bags (which are much larger than grocery store bags) when I go grocery shopping.  About every two months I get the bulky, heavy items (cat food, kitty litter, etc.).  On those trips, I take paratransit to the grocery store, and a cab back home.

Having friends or family willing to give you a ride when you need one, or your own vechicle, are the best ways to get from point A to point B.  If you don't have those options, check out paratransit.

I'll be call paratransit for a ride to the post office soon, as the listings below end in a day.  Check them out.  I'd love to go to the post office with a full load of packages to mail!

I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-

I'd like to see your photos!  Since there is no way my pets will ever let me put costumes on them, I'm looking for the vicarious thrill of seeing other folks costume-wearing pets.

It's a nice, sunny, cool morning.  I'm drinking coffee, laced with chocolate.  All is right with the world.

Have a great day.

I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-

Sometimes, I think some folks believe the ideas of responsibility and fault are interchangeable.  I don't think that they are interchangeable.  I think that they are two very different things.  I think that fault is a (or the) factor that impedes completion of a task.  Fault can be caused by a person, or an event.  Responsibility is solely on the person who gets the glory if something is done correctly, or egg on their face is something is not done correctly.

All too often, when something bad happens, "It's not my fault, because..." is the first thing uttered.  Followed by a detailed explanation of how events, wildly beyond an individual's control, all came together in a perfect storm, with the result being that person fails to do...something.  Very easy to say.  Not so easy to do is to take up one's responsibility.

When I became disabled, I railed against the universe because not being able to use my existing work skills to earn my pre-disability income level was not my fault, and not being able to participate in the activities I enjoyed was not my fault.  I was right - those things were not my fault.  My cries of "It's not my fault, because..." were stilled when surgery, and physical therapy, and medications with their dreadful side effects, failed to fix my nerve damage, my doctor told me that my nerve damage was going to get progressively worse (he was right), and nothing else could be done to fix it (I'm still hoping that he will be proven wrong).  I remember how still everything became for me.  I was on a the edge of a cliff, with an endless abyss of depression and darkness below.  I fell over the edge, and slid into the darkness, battered by depression.  Bravo for those who immediately make the right decision in such situations.  I wasn't one of those people.  I did, eventually, stop my slide down into the darkness.  I began climbing back up, up to living life.  I don't have a life map anymore, and that is not my fault.  I have to chart a new life course for myself, one based on who I am now, and that is my responsibility.

I've had many missteps on the journey of my post-disabled life path, and I undoubtably will have more missteps.  I know that it is not my fault that I am disabled.  I know that it is my responsibility to live the best possible life.

I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-

Many people believe it is unthinkable to go to a hospital, and wander from room to room asking bed-ridden patients, "What happened to you?", yet these same folks have no qualms asking the same question of a stranger they see outside of a hospital.

"Hello", and "Good Day", have long since been acceptable greetings when meeting a stranger.  At some point, "What happened to you", "How did that happen", and "Ohmigawd!" became, not acceptable, but regularly used greetings when meeting a stranger.  This isn't something that only happens to disabled folks.

It's that same, mysterious blockage of etiquette that has folks believing it is acceptable to touch to abdomen of a pregnant woman, when they would never touch that woman were she not pregnant.  The mind boggles at what would happen were these same standards used for men announcing that they were going to be fathers.

"What happened to you" and "How did that happen" can sometimes be deflected with a non sequitor response such as, "I'm well, thank you".  Sometimes, a more direct response, such as "I don't care to discuss it" is necessary. Whatever inspired the question - a disability, a mobility device, a cast - is probably not unique , or inspiring.   Most injuries aren't caused by amazing feats, such as wrestling a 20 foot alligator that was eye-balling a busload of moppets.  The causes of most injuries are usually mundane.  The causes of most injuries are always personal.  Resist the urge to ask what happened.  The injured/disabled person will tell you what happened, if they want you to know.


I'll blog at 'cha later. B-

I know some folks in southern California, and for them at least, so far, so good.  What a frightening situation.  Prayers, thoughts, chants - keep that energy flowing.  Folks of southern California need all the positive energy they can get.

If your buyer, or seller, is located in the southern most area of California, please be patient, and be kind.  I'm sure that buyer, or seller, will contact you as soon as possible.


I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-

Many people do not have a family and friends support system.  Some folks assume that if one is disabled, there is a safety net that automatically deploys.  Not true.  If there was not a prior safety net, one does not miraculously appear upon becoming disabled.  Life is tough for anyone lacking a circle of supportive friends and family.  Life can be devasting for a disabled person without a circle of supportive friends and family.

Isolation can be difficult for anyone to deal with.  Loneliness, boredom, feeling unfulfilled, and depression can be experienced by any isolated person.  For disabled folks, add frustration, and fear.

A disabled person without a support system can be frustrated because the simplest tasks can be a challenge.  The simple task of taking the trash to the curb can be  more than a 15 second chore for the mobility impaired.  In my case, I have a walker and a sharply sloping, uneven driveway.  I have to mentally prepare myself because I know that I'm going to be in more than the usual amount of pain when I'm done; and make sure I take my emergency cell phone to call for help in case I fall.  Getting groceries can be frustrating.  For the mobility impaired, getting a few, light weight items can be relatively easy.  However, add milk, or washing powder, or any heavy weight item to the grocery list, and it can take a lot of creativity to figure out how to get that item home.  Without a support system, a seemingly simple task can become a challenge; a source of frustration for someone already dealing with a mountain of frustration.

Some situations induce fear in anyone.  Natural disasters, or home break-ins.  When it happens, you run, so you can get away.  Unless, you are mobility impaired and you can't run.  Being disabled, without a support system, means that some part of you is always aware that if something catastrophic happens, you may not have a way to get out of the situation.  Someone broke into my home, while I was home since I've been disabled.  Before being disabled, if a thief broke into my home while I was home, I would have gone out of the nearest door or window and run.  I couldn't run  when that thief broke into my house.  I was mobility impaired.  Fortunately for me, I had a very loud alarm system and had picked up a very sharp knife from the kitchen.  More fortunate - the thief was not interested in hand to hand combat with me, and ran off.  Running away from danger is imprinted on the core level of the human animal.  Not being able to run when necessary; hoping that someone will stop and help you when necessary - these are the everyday, fear inducing truths for the disabled person without a support system.

Taking on the responsibility for the well-being of another person is a huge undertaking.  I'm not asking anyone to do that.  But, knowing that your neighbor has difficulty getting their trash to the curb, so you take it for them, and bring the trash container back up, is manageable.  Knowing that your neighbor has difficulty getting heavy grocery items, so occassionally you offer them a ride to the grocery store, and carry the heavy items indoors for them, is manageable.  Knowing that your neighbor is alone, so every now and again, you call or stop by just to make certain they are all right, is manageable.  Letting your neighbor, who is alone, know that there is a space in your car if there is ever a need to evacuate the area is manageable.  Any of these things may seem like no big deal to you, but they can mean the world to your neighbor, whether that neighbor is disabled or not, because then your neighbor knows that they are not fully alone.
I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-

You're Lucky You Don't Need to Work!

I try to keep on the polite-side of life, but this comment always makes me snap.  People who utter this statement are not seeing the real picture on any level.  Being disabled does not mean "no longer in need of income".  A Social Security disability payment is a stipend, i.e. it defrays costs.  It doesn't result in the recipient living large on free money.  It results in the recipient wondering how they are going to survive on a huge cut in income, when they can't go out and earn extra money at the drop of a hat.

You Can Get a Job at (fill in the blank)!

I usually get this statement from folks who have no idea what my physical limitations are, and they really don't want to know.  I think their hearts are in the right place, and they are trying to say that life will get better.  Please, just say "life will get better for you".  I'm already cranky about the lack of employment aspect of my life.  Telling me that you believe I can just pop right out, and get a job comes across to me as "you just aren't trying to get a job."

People who know my physical limitations, and make this statement, fall into two categories.  1.) They must not believe that I am truly disabled, because they suggest I get work doing what I was doing before I was disabled.  Before I was disabled, I worked as an Administrative Assistant.  After I became disabled, many people suggested that I apply for jobs as an Administrative Assistant.  I actually had to point out that if I could do the work of an AA, I would still be working as an AA.  2.) They tell me there is a job I could work, within the framework of my physical limitations.  Great?  Not so much.  They don't know what the job is; what company offers the job; or anything else.  They just heard about the job from someone, but they don't remember who; or they think they read about the job someplace, but they don't remember where.

Since You Are Disabled, You Get Everything Free and Easy

Medical coverage?  I have to pay for it, and it costs more than I paid for medical coverage when I was working and not disabled.

Neccessities of life - food, rent, and utilities?  I still have to pay for all of them, at the same rate that an able-bodied, working person pays.  There are aid programs out there, and the aid level varies from state to state.  As does the income level to qualify for the aid.  I live in Texas.  The qualifying income level here is so low, many folks (such as myself) who could really use the aid, don't qualify for it because we "make too much money".  Too much money.  Riiight.

Transportation?  I use the paratransit program that is part of the local public transporation system.  Free?  No.  It costs more per ride than regular public transportation.  Go anywhere, at anytime?  Not so much.  Rides have to be scheduled at least 24 hours in advance; the trip taken within the operating hours of the paratransit; and the destination has to be within the area covered by the particular public transportation system.  I'm not complaining.  Until I was accepted for the paratransit, even getting groceries was a hit or miss proposition.  This information is for folks who think that the paratransit system is at my beck and call, willing to pick me up at anytime, anywhere; and is free.

Disabled folks have the same financial needs as able-bodied folks, often even more due to essential doctor visits; physical therapy; surgeries; and medication.  We aren't looking for a free ride.  We have work ethics, moral standards, and pride - it chaps our hides to need help.  We are just looking for ways to better our standard of living within the framework of our disabilities.

I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-

Physical impairment does not equal mental impairment.  I use a walker, and my movements are slow, and laborious.  Many people assume that my mental functions are also slow and laborious.  Based on my slow movement, people often speak very loudly to me - apparently assuming that since I move slowly I must be hard of hearing (?????); and/or speak to me as though I were 2 years old.  These same folks are consistently surprised when I speak to them as an adult, with some college - which is what I am.  The Speak Loudly When Doubting the Person Can Understand You syndrome is one I have never understood.  Speaking to me as though I were a 2 year old, I think, is because they are assuming that since I cannot walk normally, I cannot think normally.  Assumptions.

Please don't assume.  Being in a wheelchair; using a cane; using walker; all signify only one thing: that person needs mobility aid.  Being unable to speak clearly means that there is a physical impairment of one's ability to speak, not that there is an impairment to one's ability to think; to understand; and to feel.

If you don't want to say "Hello" or "How are you?" to a disabled person, I hope it is because you aren't the type of person to say "Hello" or "How are You?" to people you don't know, not because that person is disabled.  When you speak to a disabled person, speak to them on your level, just as you would an able-bodied person.  If we don't understand you, we will let you know...just as an able-bodied person would.
I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-

My nephew is 29 years old, over 6 feet tall, and not skinny.  My nephew had some scorching, choice  words for the peeping tom - words too, let's say "colorful", to repeat here.  The peeping tom took off.  Weirdo.

I woke up today to 54 degree weather.  Sweet!  When I woke up and all three cats were sleeping with me, I knew it was cool outside.  It's going to climb to the mid-80s+ later on, but right now it feels delicious.  Yum, hot coffee.  I'm having some right now.

I have some new ideas for the blank journal/notepads I'm making.  Mwaa-ha-ha!  I like experimenting with craft ideas.  I hope they sell.  I wanted to list the items as notebooks, but "notebook" on eBay is usually computer notebooks.

Have a delicious day.

I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-

It ain't pretty.  I never knew the life span of a water heater.  Mine was around 13 years old.  We had a good relationship.  It heated water; I wiped dust off of it every now and then.  Until, one day after taking a shower, I heard a strange sound coming from the kitchen.  Before I finish this story, please stay tuned for a commercial break:

Now, back to the story.

The sound was a loud hissing, with an angry, growling undertone.  I realized that the sound was coming from the water heater.  The water heater runs on gas, and I immediately thought, "It's gonna blow!".  I turned to run and grab my cats, and get out of the house.  Then, I remembered  - oh, yeah, I'm disabled - I couldn't run.  I also realized that after I grabbed one cat and got him, or her, into a kitty carrier, the others would hide so well that they could give stealth lessons to a Navy SEAL.  So, I went to the hissing, growling water heater, steadily chanting under my breath, "Don't blow up. Don't blow up.", and I turned off the gas.  Whew!  Then, I noticed the indoor swimming pool that had once been my kitchen.  #$!*#$$!!!!  Three days later I had a new water heater.  Pretty anti-climatic.  When it comes to real life, I am all about anti-climatic.  I prefer my drama in movies, or novels, thank you.

I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-

...and I have something new.  Handcrafted journal/notepads.  Take a look.

I've missed you all.  I've got some catching up to do in Blog Land.  Physically, I am better than I have been for some time.  My body continually surprises me.  Thing is, I don't like surprises.  I'm doing pretty well now, though.  Living in the day means I'm doing pretty well.

I began making the covers for the journals/notepads during my time away from eBay.  I always have to do something, and with the physical limitations, crafting is a great outlet for me.   Here are my latest creations.

I'll blog at 'cha later.

B-