ENGLISH...LOL

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes                                  =       No

2. No                                   =       Yes

3. Maybe                                =       No

4. We need                              =       I want

5. I am sorry                           =       you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk                      =       you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead                       =       you better not

8. Do what you want                     =       you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset                       =       of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight               =       is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry                                  =       I am hungry

2. I am sleepy                                  =       I am sleepy

3. I am tired                                   =       I am tired

4. Nice dress                                   =       Nice cleavage!

5. I love you                                   =       let's have sex now

6. I am bored                                   =       Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance?                       =       I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime?                     =       I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie?                =       I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner?               =       I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit               =       I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.