To wash or not to wash

I keep seeing it happen. Somebody's discussing scarves, and they'll say, "Oh, I could never buy one of those, you can only dry clean them."  And I shrug and say, "Well, I wash mine sometimes..." and whoever I'm talking to practically passes out cold.

Yes, you can wash silk scarves. Yes, you can wash Hermès scarves. I'll put in this disclaimer: I don't do it more often than I have to. But sometimes (like when you're at dinner and somebody manages to get food or drink on your scarf -- even though you've taken it off and hung it over the back of the chair to keep it well out of range of the spaghetti), sometimes you just have no choice. You have to do something relatively quickly. And at other times you notice that a scarf simply needs a little freshening up, but you can't be bothered taking it to the dry cleaners' just for that.

At such times, yes, wash it -- with care. There is one good online guide to this art on eBay:  geoff.clarke's handwashing guide.

Now here let me add the inevitable disclaimers:  If you take any advice I give you here, and something goes wrong, you are the only one responsible, and the State Department (as they say on Mission: Impossible) will disavow any knowledge of your actions. And so will I. So think before you act.

First let's consider those emergency moments at the restaurant (since for the moment I'll assume that you're not wearing a really good scarf while you're gardening or doing the dishes). These emergencies tend to break down into (a) stains without grease and (b) stains with it.

Group (a) stains are bad enough. Why is it always the red wine that splashes on a light-colored scarf, and not the white? ...Never mind. Make your excuses, get to the ladies' room and rinse the scarf very very well in cold water. Squeeze the water out of it and then get it as dry as you can. If paper towels are present, pat the scarf as dry as you can and press the water out of it. Don't wring! Then fold it up, wrap it in some more towels and stow it somewhere safe until you can get it home and give it a full wash using Geoff's instructions. (While you're thinking of it, ask the restaurant for a plastic bag to put it in. They might have one.)

If you've been hit by sauce or something else that fits into group (b), head for  the ladies' room just as fast, and this time -- being careful about your rinsing so as to keep the grease from spreading -- after carefully wetting, use a liquid hand soap sparingly on the stained spot. Don't rub it too hard, just try to soak it well in and rinse it well out. Then put the scarf away as suggested above and give it your full attention as soon as you get home.

In both cases, if you move fast enough, you can get the stain out completely. But do move fast. This isn't one of those things you can put off until later. Yes, all right, get the contract details nailed down first, but then get into the ladies' room and deal with that spot.

One other word (which also has a little to do with that hand soap in the ladies' room). Do NOT NOT NOT use bar soap, indeed any soap, on a silk scarf. And take a close look at the stuff in the little pumpy jar or whatever in the ladies' room to see if it's soap or detergent. Ideally, it's detergent you want. Soap is going to damage silk, no matter how many cute babies the soap company puts on its packaging, no matter how many times they write "GENTLE" or "KIND" on it. Remember the phrase "soap scum"? Remember the phrase "bathtub ring"? That's what's going to wind up on your scarf -- either leaving an unremovable thin scummy skin on the fibers, or otherwise damaging them (remember that all soap is, at the most basic level, an unholy marriage between something fatty and something caustic. The caustic element will attack the dyes). If you're in the OMG spaghetti sauce on my white Hermès!! situation, and you have no choice, all right, use the stuff in the pumpy bottle, and then rinse rinse rinse like crazy. You will probably be OK.

In any case, make sure you get the business card of the person who hit you with that sauce. A professional or otherwise good person will offer at the very least to cover your drycleaning expenses. If they don't offer, don't sign that contract.