It was soon time to go about and retrace our passage. The return journey was without incident unless you count the Sea Cadet Whaler and the Pleasure boat that somehow managed to collide whilst taking what was later described at the Board of Enquiry as - Evasive action.

Just what they were trying to avoid I could not see as there was only them and us on the stretch of river at the time.  One item of interest on our homeward bound voyage was the amazing number of Fishermen who hurled themselves into the river just after we passed close by them.

My wife put forward the theory that this was some strange Lemming like activity - but later inspection of our rudder revealed a vast collection of Fishing Hooks and lengths of nylon line.

On our arrival back at the Boat-Yard we were met by a young man who was wearing a Black Armband. All the flags at the yard were flying at half mast. Which I presumed was some sort of welcome home to the returning sailors.

 I did notice that he broke into floods of tears whenever I enquired about Wilberforce and his eyes took on a wild and staring look. I tried to book up for next year but he kept asking if we had considered the advantages of a Time Share holiday in Spain or a Trekking Holiday in Tibet. So we turned our backs to the water and set off home discussing our options for our next break. I do quite fancy one of those Farm Holidays in the West Country so I might be writing again soon.

The Captain.

A few days passed in a pleasant fashion. We had settled into a good routine which was disturbed when we came across a motor cruiser drifting slowly towards us with the owner working furiously on the Outboard motor which was defying his every attempt at starting it.

 I came alongside with very little damage and offered our assistance. He - it seemed - was as new to Boating as we were - having just bought his boat that morning so I offered to bump start him by giving him a tow. Now whilst it is possible to start a car in this manner boats are a different matter.

The other cruiser had some very smart Chrome Rails at the Bow and it was to this that I tied the half inch Nylon rope. I engaged forward and we moved off - taking up the slack in a smooth fashion. It was equally as smooth when the Chrome Rails were pulled off the boat and sank behind us like a Trawl Net. Not put off by this small set-back or the Sobs of the boat owner I retied the rope to a stronger part of his boat and set off once more up-river.

He was still with us as we approached a small Lock. I noticed that we were about to pass a Weir, but then forgot about it as I realised that the Lock was not - in my opinion - big enough for us and our casualty.  Without giving it too much thought I cast off the tow rope - shouting that I would wait for him on the other side of the Lock. As we rose up in the Lock I was just in time to see him leap over the side of his craft as it Breasted the Weir before sinking without trace on the other side.

For several more days we chugged along Old Father Thames and saw many fine sights. You get an entirely different view of familiar objects from the river and as we approached the City of Oxford I proudly pointed out my old college to the family.

It was whilst thus engaged that I almost failed to spot the University Rowing 8 - just ahead of me and travelling in the same direction. I tell you one thing - my money is definitely on Oxford for this years Boat Race. By God - they almost got away with it and had it not been for their Cox getting hit by the Distress Flare in the small of his back I think that they would have made it. It was only later when I was reading the instructions that I realised that you should point the Flare straight up and not directly at the person whose attention you are trying to attract. I had only used the Flare because I had dropped the Air Horn overboard earlier that week.

More tomorrow….

The Captain

About Mid-morning we arrived at our first Lock. Once more Dame Luck was with me as there was a Lock Keeper present and he had the Gates open almost before I rammed them. Just before the gates closed behind us a small Yacht was allowed to share the Lock with us. The sensation of being in an open air Lift was - I am sure - a major factor in my unexpected disorientation which resulted in me getting forward and Reverse mixed up.

Suffice it to say that we added a small yacht to our tally of kills and the kids went below and started to make a Jolly Roger Flag that was soon to grace the short mast atop the Wheel-House.  Lunch-time was now fast approaching and as we rounded a small bend in the river there was the welcoming sight of a river-side Pub.

Word of our approach had gone ahead for the Landlord rowed out to us and offered his services as Pilot. Helping him from the broken remains of his skiff and drying him off as best I could I gladly accepted his kind offer. We were soon enjoying a tasty lunch and several glasses of the local Ale.

The other customers had a strange habit in that they all huddled up at one end of the bar leaving us with the remaining 25 feet of Bar Space. I was aware that they were obviously wary of strangers as they spoke in hushed tones and the only word that I could hear was Jonah.  It seemed a strange place in which to discuss the Bible.

After a very splendid repast it was time for us to depart.

The Landlord was not in sight and we made our way down to the jetty. This time I remembered to cast off both ropes. It would have been helpful if I had remembered to start the engines as well. Seeing the boat moving downstream apparently out of control my wife showed great initiative and threw the anchor rope onto the passing bank where it found a good grip in the front bumper of a parked Reliant Robin and stopped our backwards motion. It perhaps would have been a good idea for her to tell me of her actions before I started the engines. We surged forward and I became the first Skipper in the annals of Naval History to have sunk a Reliant Robin.

More tomorrow….

The Captain