I know who god is!

A boy says to her mother, "Mom, is God a man or woman?"
The mom thinks a while and says, "Well, son, God is both man and woman."
The son is confused, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
The mother replies, "God is both black and white, honey."
The son, still curious, says after a while, "Is God gay or straight, mommy?"
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, "Son, God is both gay and
straight.
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has
answered his question: "Is God Michael Jackson?"

****************************
Don't wait,
Because you don't know how long it will take!

******
My Shop：http://search.ebay.com.sg/_W0QQsassZfamilyshopan

E-mail：Familyshopan@gmail.com

MSN：Familyshopan@gmail.com

It's 'World Best Friends Week' send this to all ur good friends .   
 

Show your friends
how much you care.

Send this to everyone
you consider a FRIEND!

Even if it means sending
it back to the person
who sent it to you.

If it comes back to you,
then you'll know you
have a circle of friends.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP
WEEK TO YOU!!!!!!

YOU ARE MY FRIEND
AND I AM HONORED.

F - Few
    R - Relations
         I - In  
              E - Earth
                  N - Never
                       D - Die 

*****************************
Don't wait,
Because you don't know how long it will take!

******
My Shop：http://search.ebay.com.sg/_W0QQsassZfamilyshopan

E-mail：Familyshopan@gmail.com

MSN：Familyshopan@gmail.com

How the Elephant got his trunk

How the Elephant got his trunk
Once upon a time, there was a sad elephant. He was dirty and stinky, because he could not reach to wash his back. All the other animals didn’t play with him because he was smelly.

Elephant sat under a tree, where nobody could see him. He started to cry. His head was hanging down, crying big tears. He sat and cried for days. One day, when his tears had dried up, he went to itch his head and he felt a bump on his back. Then he noticed his nose had stretched because it had got wet with all the crying and it was now a long trunk which had hit him on his back.

He went to the river and got his trunk, put it in the water and sucked the water up. Then he sprayed his back with water.

All the other animals came over to him and said “you are so clean and smell so lovely. Do you want to play with us?”

The elephant was so happy and said “yes.”

The End.

*****************************
Don't wait,
Because you don't know how long it will take!

******
My Shop：http://search.ebay.com.sg/_W0QQsassZfamilyshopan

E-mail：Familyshopan@gmail.com

MSN：Familyshopan@gmail.com

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

*****************************
Don't wait,
Because you don't know how long it will take!

******
My Shop：http://search.ebay.com.sg/_W0QQsassZfamilyshopan

E-mail：Familyshopan@gmail.com

just for laughs
 
=====================================================================
Ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back or
that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people
who did.
 
FIRST TESTIMONY:
 
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and  asked
loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
Hearing myself, I turned right around and walked back out and never  went
back. My husband didn't say a word ... he knew better.
 
SECOND TESTIMONY:
 
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type that I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who
work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked
at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
 
THIRD TESTIMONY:
 
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind
the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at
your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and
turned beet-red and walked away.  To this day, my sister has never let me
forget.
 
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
 
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some
pent-up energy and run amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after
receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that
if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my
horror, she looked me in the eye and said loudly in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange.
 
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I
heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
 
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
 
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three year old
son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was
very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled
something funny, so of course I checked my seven month old daughter, and she
was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while,
so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh
Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with
me.". Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No,"
he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell
was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an
accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and
spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
 
LAST TESTIMONY:
 
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before
she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any...? Here's
a true story:

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked "So Bob, where's that
8 inches you promised me last night?"
 
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did, too - they
were laughing so hard!
 
 

Well now, y'all, didn't that feel good?

Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh.

*****************************
Don't wait,
Because you don't know how long it will take!
*******
My Shop：http://search.ebay.com.sg/_W0QQsassZfamilyshopan