Forgiveness

    I received an email from a friend who was concerned that she had let me
down in some way.  This was not the case, but did get me to thinking about
some people who have let me down.  What was their real impact on my life?
How do I get beyond that impact?

    I was thinking today about how much energy it takes to hold hard
feelings toward someone who has negatively impacted my life.  That person
could be an ex-wife, former close friend, or a coworker.  I have even seen
cases where people could not forgive themselves for some negative action
that had affected the quality of their lives.

    I have recently tried to forgive, forget and get past those negative
thoughts.  That does not mean I have to become the best of friends with
someone who has made my life less than wonderful, it only means that I can
not dwell on them as an excuse for my unhappiness now.  I must take
ownership for where I am on the path at this moment.

    It must be a terrible feeling to be unable to forgive one's self for
some action that had negative results in his life.  I read somewhere that
mistakes and failures are life's Great Teacher.  If that is to be true, I
must take what I learn from my mistakes and move forward sharing that
information in an effort to help someone else not make the same mistake.

    As far as someone else negatively impacting my life, I do not give
anyone permission to do so.  I will take responsibility for my own feelings
and no one has enough power over me, to cause negativity for me.

    Maybe in caring enough for others, to share what I have learned, I am
able to unload this old baggage easier. The one thing I am sure of is that
negativity has no place on my path. 


Copyright © 2007 Toby Edmondson
All Rights Reserved
www.fiventen.com

Challenging Opportunities


    What prevents us from taking on the challenges that confront us?
(((((FEAR)))))  Why are we willing to let others pick our path?
(((((FEAR)))))  What have we learned from others who have failed?
(((((FEAR)))))   Why take a chance on failure?  (((((FEAR))))  What is the
reward for meeting our challenges?  !!!!!!OPPORTUNITY!!!!!!  What is waiting
when we map our own path?  !!!!!!OPPORTUNITY!!!!!!  What did the people who
failed have?  !!!!!!OPPORTUNITY!!!!!!   What does failure really give us the
chance for?  !!!!!!OPPORTUNITY!!!!!!

    What steps do we need to take to be able to confront our challenges with
boldness of spirit?  How do we begin to map our own destination?  Why do we
look at others experience and think of failure?  What will it take to
believe we can succeed?

    The fear we feel when confronted with challenge is something that is
ingrained in us from the time we are small.  We have heard the words "no you
can't", literally thousands of times in our lives.  We must look at all our
successes in the past and build on them.  Gain confidence in meeting small
challenges, then boldly move forward and take on bigger challenges.  Do not
let others tell you what you are capable of accomplishing...you map your
path.  When we perceived that someone else has failed, did we get the whole
picture?  Did that person learn valuable lessons from their experience?  Can
we then seize on the opportunity to fail?

    I do not believe we have challenged ourselves anywhere nearly enough if
we do not fail.   We need to believe we will succeed, but also know that
part of success is learning from failure. Embrace the ((((FEAR)))), and use
the energy to gain new ((((OPPORTUNITIES)))).  It will be the sharing of our
fears, our failures and our successes along the path that will make the way
smoother for those that follow....Lets all look for and accept those Opportunities.

Coypwrite 2007 Toby Edmondson

Not Worth the Time

We can not spend our time, with discontent and grief,

It shows up with out warning... sneaky time stealing theif.

Overlook the irritation, looking way out far beyond,

Will make our day much brighter, wave that magic wand.

Don't spend time on shouting, or arguing all the issues,

Or waste more time with crying, in little paper tissues.

Don't let an individual, blow out your brilliant light,

The time is truly wasted, when we argue and we fight.

Please ignore it or delete it, or simply leave it alone,

It probably is something silly, that was simply overblown.

Copywrite 2007 Toby Edmondson

Any agrunig aoubt my msieus of the Elgish Lnagauge, the cnoetns here-in will be highlighted, then ignored and rdiucled. Dno't mkae fun of my sepliling ethier. LOL

• Family
• Friends
• My Word
• Time

STRESS!!!


    STREEEEESSSSS!!!! What an evil emotion we all go through. What is
stress? Who causes it? What can we do to alleviate stress?


    In the simplest terms, stress seems to be "too much, too fast".  Many
times in our week, or day, life seems to pile up too much for us to deal
with all at once. The result is stress.

    Stress comes to us in two different forms, external and internal.
External stress is the piling of one thing after another by other people or
just life in general. While there is not much we can do about external
pressures, there are things we can do to alleviate some of the stress
involved.


    When things outside our control begin to mount up, we must remember we
can only effectively deal with one thing at a time. By making a list and
marking each item we handle, one at a time, we can not only relieve some of
the stress, we can gain feelings of accomplishment for moving one thing off
our pile. Remember to not set your expectations so high that you can never
meet your goals.


    Self-Induced Stress seems to me to be the most prevalent of the two. We
sometimes confuse self-induced stress with external stress and we should
examine our situation closely to know which we are dealing with.


    I, for one, am a great example of self-induced stress. I often take on
more than I can possibly handle and thinking each to be as important as the
other, find myself trying to juggle way too many things at once. Just this
last spring, I had to unload several things I felt were important. I
resigned from a committee with the Independent Living Center of Iowa, I
resigned from the board of directors at the golf course, and I also made a
choice between our local brain injury support group and the support system
via the internet. The internet won on that choice, although I am now giving
thought to reestablishing contact with our local support group.


    Learning to say "NO" is the most common problem when it comes to people
who suffer from internal stress. We must learn to prioritize and select the
things that will be the most beneficial for all, including ourselves.


One last point, if you find that all else has failed, find a secluded spot
and SCREAM at the world. You would be surprised at what a feeling of relief
you can get from this, if you are not locked up in a padded cell afterwards.


While not all stress is bad, ( a bit of stress can motivate us to action) we
must keep it at a level we can handle if we are to keep moving forward.

Copyright © 2007 Toby Edmondson
All Rights Reserved

I Have A Problem

    I have a problem. Today as I sit here trying to access my mail, the
program keeps freezing up.  I know I will lose over a hundred emails that
are waiting for answers. I have a problem. How am I to even write my
thoughts and send them to anyone with the mail program messed up? I have a
problem.  All the people who are waiting so patiently for return mail will
be left in limbo. With my memory I will never remember all those I owe mail
to..or even what about.

    Well, problem one was not a problem at all, only a challenge. I am using
my Netscape Mail Client to send my thoughts to the listbot server. Hey, I
could have gone to the listbot server and written my thoughts for today
directly from there. I have met this challenge and overcome.  I have energy
to face the "real" problems now, but think a cup of coffee is in order
first.

    Back, coffee in hand and three notes my wife left me by the coffee pot.
    a.. To make headway, improve your head. (Forbes)
    b.. Keep an open mind.
    c.. Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When you don't know
what harbor you are aiming for, no wind is the right wind. (Seneca)

    OK, I understand the first note she left me. I have by virtue of the
fact I am writing my thoughts improved my head, my attitude. I am making
headway and that in an of itself is stimulating.

    Keep an open mind? Yea, well I am open to any suggestions for my other
problems. Well, OK, think I could reinstall my Outlook express, but would
lose my mail in the process. I have my address book saved so I can go
through and send a note to many of the people who I have not been in contact
with lately.  Even a general note explaining the situation. OK, so this is
not so much a problem as a challenge.  I can do this.

    I think I am coming to understand the third note also. As I began my
day, I was in a whirlwind. I had no "aim" because I had not directed my
attention on any one situation.  I lumped all the perceived problems
together, causing this turbulent wind.

    As I find focus I can then identify the problems as only challenges.
Challenges give me a goal, something to solve and overcome. I know that
overcoming challenges then gives me energy (the wind) and motivation to do
more.

    I can say that I am glad to know that I don't have any real problems
today after all.  I do have a few challenges, but am up to facing them head
on and overcoming the ones I can.  Today might even become an interesting
journey. 

Copyright © 2007 Toby Edmondson
All Rights Reserved

A Complete Washout

   When I was driving truck, I found myself regularly going to the same destination each
week, sometimes twice.  I will try to paint a picture in words of a typical
visit to this particular warehouse.

    Appointment time: 9 AM.   Arrival at 5 AM.   Stop at gate to check in
with guard.  He ignores me for about 3 minutes while finishing up some book
work.  He then mumbles: "Truck number" which I give to him.  He mumbles
again:  "Trailer Number" which I also give.  He asks, "What is your
product?" to which I respond.  The guard then says,  "Park your truck, take
your bills inside, and they will come and get you when they are ready.  I
leave after telling guard to have a good day.

    I park my truck alongside 25 to 30 other trucks and take my bills
inside.  I am met by the warehouse Forman who snatches the bills from me and
tells me to wait in my truck.  I thank him and go back to my truck.

    At 10:30 AM they tell me to back into door number 18 and I thank them.
I back into the  dock and go inside to hire a lumper (unloader).  We dicker
on the price and I leave feeling like I just got robbed ... lol ... I go
back to my truck to try to get some sleep while they are unloading.  1:00 PM
the lumper wakes me up and tells me I am ready.  I go inside to check
trailer to make sure it is unloaded and then pay the lumper.  I then go to
the office to get my bills signed and am again met with a "don't bother me"
attitude.  They sign my bills,  I then pay  them another $30 to wash out my
trailer so I can go and reload somewhere.

    I  go out to put my truck in the wash building feeling sorry for all
these people who are leading unhappy lives.  Too my surprise as I enter the
wash building I am met by a gentleman  with a wave and a smile.  I show him
my receipt and he climbs into the trailer with the high pressure hose.  When
he has completed washing the trailer we take a few minutes to share with
each other and I find a person who cares about others. It seems my day has
not been a complete washout. What a refreshing way to end my day at this
warehouse.

    I actually look forward to going to this food warehouse now.  It seems
that no matter how dismal a situation can seem to be, if we but wait and
look we can find a beam of sunshine to again light the path.

Toby Edmondson Copyright © 2007
All Rights Reserved

Through the Eyes of a Child

In yesterday's article Beyond Feasability, I spent time exploring  one possible
way to "think out of the box".  I placed myself in other peoples shoes to gain
a different perspective on a situation.  Throughout the day, I continued the
excersise and came across the one person we all need to consult.  The view
of a Child.

    A child looks at the world with awe and wonder. They fearlessly move
through their little worlds discovering and devouring knowledge as if it
were pizza on a Friday night.  Negative thoughts are not yet a part of the
process. The future is that of promise. Life seems to be endless.  Even
children with life threatening illnesses can leave one believing all things
are possible. Why does our view of the world  change so dramatically as we
mature?

    As we become seasoned, and begin to have to add responsibility to our
view of the world, we lose some of that wonderful filtered outlook we had.
We then add the sunglasses of hurt and disappointment to our perspective.
Along with that, add the clouds of fear that we let seep into our thoughts.
Life is all of a  sudden finite in our minds,  adding even more seasoning
toour vantage point.  With all these things obstructing our view, or at the
very least tinting the perspective we have, how can we ever see the
positive side to anything?

    We need to fight some of the negative things that slant our
perspective, so we can again see and appreciate  the wonders of the