...is what I need. I just cannot seem to get motivated. About anything. We still need to sell so many things, but I can't seem to get the motivation to start listing. We listed about 70 or so items this week, but the truth is, if I had actually spend all the time i could have spent listing, then we woudl have got through about 4 times that many. The same goes for this week, and now I am trying to cram in as much as possible before we list on Sunday.

It's not just the ebay stuff. I have lost my appetite for many things. Even our trip, which is practically sacrilege, but things have just gone off the boil for me. All I want to do is lie in bed and read. I have read seven books in the last six weeks, which isn't like me at all. I need to get motivated, otherwise we will not be going anywhere! J does what he can, but since he works full time, and I am off work at the moment (back problems), I should be doing more since I have the time.

I promise that I will get up earlier tomorrow, and get more things done. Plus I have to clean the house before my parents get back from their holiday in the Lake District. I have been staying here to use the computer whilst Jamie is in France, and now I have to clean up before they ALL get back.

Four months and eight days, eighteen weeks and five days, one hundred and thirty one days, 3144 hours, 188640 minutes (approx) or 11318400 (approx) to go.

A year ago, I could not believe we still had so much time to go until we left for New Zealand. How would I cope? I could barely manage each day thinking that I still had all that time to go before I could tell work to shove it and fly of to NZ. But now?? There is just over four months left, and quite frankly, I am freaking out! There is still so much to do and so little time to do it in. We have our visas and our tickets, but aside from that we are pretty stuck.

We have to sell/give away/bin at least 70% of our stuff before we go. There are a couple of reasons for this really. First, of course is the money side of things. We need cash to get into the country (it's part of the visa entry thing) and to set up and live, and buy a van etc. Secondly, it's the storage factor. We have SO MUCH STUFF and very little space to keep it in while we are away (two cupboards at my partents, and a little space at Jamie's). And thirdly is the fact that we may never actually come back to the UK, and so the less stuff we have to ship over to our new lives in NZ, the less money and hassle it will be in the long run.

But this is tuning out to be a real struggle. Trying to get Jamie to give up any of his stuff is not like pulling teeth...it is much, much worse!! He is a total hoarder and has things that I have never seen him use/watch/play with n the 6 1/2 years we have been together, but do you think he will get rid of those things?? I am selling a lot of things that are very dear to me (including a large percentage of my beloved shoe collection), but I am getting the vibe that he does not want to do the same.

Anyways, he is in France at the moment, which is where I am supposed to be, but I am too sick to go, so I am over at my parents listing items on their computer (it's a good job they have one as my laptop is currently out of action and we can't put off selling any longer). The only problem is, is that my Mum keeps wanting me to list things for her! So instead of listing 100 items of my own, I am spending all my time listing 100+ items of her's! She says it is so she can buy me a nice dress for our wedding (we are getting hitched on Lake Taupo in February), so I feel obliged to do it. It had better be the best dress EVER after all this work.

Rachel x