Hey n-e-one know what part of the country Kook is visiting tonight?

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take.

He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The storeowner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale."

The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you 20 dollars for that cat."

And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."

The owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

A Nun was taking a shower one day and she heard the door bell ring, she yelled "Who is it?"

And the person ringing the door bell yelled, "I'm the blind man."

So the Nun got out of the shower and wrapped her hair in a towel, she didn't bother putting a towel around herself because the person behind the door was blind.

She opened the door and said, "What do you want?", and the man said, "I'm here to check your blinds."

This is the "Quote For The Day!"

Incentive for sit-ups:

 Put  M & M's  between  your  toes!


(past your toes, might be better!!)
:O)

Friday, 2008 August 01, a total eclipse of the Sun is visible from within a narrow corridor that traverses half the Earth. The path of the Moon's umbral shadow begins in Canada and extends across northern Greenland, the Arctic, central Russia, Mongolia, and China. A partial eclipse is seen within the much broader path of the Moon's penumbral shadow, which includes northeastern North America, most of Europe and Asia.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.


Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places....Until that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.ooops.........................!!!:)

"BLONDIE"  has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff.  The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does.  The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it.

 Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats.He turns around and sees she’s smiling.  He goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting the windows of her car.  Then looks back and sees that she’s laughing.

  He’s really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she’s laughing so hard, she’s about to fall down. He demands, “What’s so funny?” She says, “Every time you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle!”