Dear Dr. Spock, My tongue is numb is this normal? Signed, IronChassis

Dear IronChassis,

After reviewing your case, I have decided that, no, your numb tongue is NOT normal.  I believe that it is a symptom of your celebate life style. I suggest that you cease this activity immediately.  Our calculations indicate that should you not change this behavior, you are in danger  of going numb all over. We are sorry but human beings were not meant to engage in this type of behavior.

Knock it off.

Sincerely,

Dr.Spock

For the rest of 12 dogs? Clink blue link above.

Thank you.

Dear Blogland.

I have a forked tongue. 

Well that's not true. It just feels that way.

The tipend of my tongue is numb. Did my alterego get a tongue pierced? Shouldn't I know about it first? Like maybe they need to get a release form signed. You medical folks. Do I need to go seek medical attention? I had a friend in highschool who smoked so much pot the side of her face when numb. I NEVER smoke pot. Heck, I don't even drink. Or have sex. Or, depending on who you ask, do much of anything. I am a retiree for hecks sake. I spend my days scoping out all my retiree discounts. I don't have time for this numb tongue stuff. Oh great now I'm starting to drewl and lisp.

This isn't funny.

Might better write a letter from home before this numb stuff starts to travel to my typing toes. Will keep you up to date but in the mean time could you send me a pressie. :D I'm sick.

Just so you'll know the next two letters are supposed to be funny. Oh and I'm sick.

Send pressies. 

I prefer money but really good chocolate is good too. Oh and oil stock futures. I loooovee oil stock futures. :D

Thanks,

AuthorAnn

For those in the know: 

PS WaryCary (TWoP) and friends so sorry get well soon.

 For more? click here>This is dedicated ... <click here for today's posts.

Really fine print. I really am retired.  I retired young but now my age, as well as AARP, is catching up with my retiree status. So Bengal55 don't ya be hmmming  about this post. It isn't age biased at all. Now if the hmm is about the sex. well heck that's not my fault. By the way, on a completely different subject,  have you talked to Newt.?  How is she doing? Just wondering.

More songs for the playlist.

Maggie Mae  by Rod Stewart, /This is the good Rod Stewart. Where voice, lyric and melody all fit together just fine. I love the kick rhythm and mandolin. "Wake up Maggie I think I got something to say to you..." Love this song.

Dear Blogland,

Alright ya'll. I just want you to know that the following post was meant in a friendly loving way and is in no way meant as meanspirited snark. It is in fact a post for one our blogger friend's friend.  A visitor to Blogland. I just wanted you to know this.  There is no way in heck that I want to be responsible for starting a Blogland drama.

Of course (Name withheld by request to avoid embarassment), in order to have the true Blogland experience, your friend should be responsible in some way for a Blogland Bruhaha.  So maybe I should be offensive.

Naww.

Seriously ya'll,

(...in case someone is actually reading my blog...)

Dust off those "senses of humor".  Everything in the following was meant to be a verbal "hug" not a "tonguelashing".

Best regards,

AuthorAnn

Next stop? letters home

Really fine print. I love that song West End Girls by Pet Shop Boys. Really great song.

Mention of Tryork's blog is because I am a Tryork Fangurl!!!!

Hey how's the day going.

This is really small print. Annoying. Someone throw something.

Oh great. Now I'm listening to the BeeGee's . More than A Woman. Wasn't the Celien Dion (cant that woman get an easier to spell name) New Day song bad enough? What next Captain and Tenille Muskrat Love. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGG. Blind Dog Eddie Someone please get me some Blind Dog Eddieeeeeeeee  ARRRRRGGGGGGGGG

Dear (Name withheld by request to avoid embarassment),

You tried to explain the blogs to a, I am assuming, sane, rational friend? What were you thinking? Trying to run 'em off?

Before it's too late:

Dear (Name withheld by request to avoid embarassment)'s  friend,

There is no rational explaination for Blogland. Like a really bad B grade Zombie movie? Or a really good cheeseburger? Sure there are better ways to spend your time but seriously, why would you want to. You just have to check your mind at the door and do ALOT of suspending of disbelief. Alot of suspending. Once you do? Mmmmmmm tasty.

Run before it's too late. Blogland can be addictive. Did she show you Tryork's blogs* and Feedback?  Seriously the writing can be very good here on the Blogs. You'll be back.

Sincerely,

(Name withheld by request to avoid embarrassment)'s  internet friend,

12 dogs aka IronChassis aka Iron aka Hannah Murphy aka Jack the Intern aka Auntie Slacker aka AuthorAnn aka Ann aka yep as much as I hate to admit it even Ann ia an aka.
Such is Blogland.

PS

Like the "12 dogs and blog"  blog, fact and fiction live here in Blogland. Some times the truth is the least important thing about them.

Come back and come often. I need the views to try and convince someone here that it might actually be a good thing for me to spend a good deal of my time writing.

LOL friendly grammar hint from AuthorAnn:

Run on sentences are our friends!.

They help exptablish the "character" of our characters at 12 dogs They do not in anyway indicate a lack of grammar skills. Honest. As for the misssspelled werds. They're typos or on purpose. I mean look at them closely. Some are pretty durn funny.

Oh and (Name withheld by request to avoid embarrassments)'s friend? You are now part of Blogland. With your own blog post! Tell yer family and friends to come see. They will be sooooooo proud.

AuthorAnn

Playlist for (Name withheld by request to avoid embarasssment)'s friend.

Jimmy Buffet"s  Little Miss Magic

Wake up Blogland!!

next stop:

Sunday Morning Java/Songs for Insomiac M...aniacs!!!!

Fine print.

BruceSpringstein Dancin' In the Dark

* That is a compliment to Tryork. I LOVE Tryork's blog and feedback. Just so you'll know.

                                                                   AuthorAnn

Song?

For this morning I'm thinking Sara Bareilles.

Love Song

or meebee

Why Don't We Get Drunk And...

by Alabama Native son Jimmy Buffet

(We are sooo proud. We are really. I love that song. Great singing at the top of your lungs,  happy hour song.)

Try it.

All together now Parrotheads. Whhyyy doon't Weeeee Gettttt Druuuuunnnnkkkkk annnnndddd Scr...

Sorry the rest is edited because my poor elderly mom can't deal with the fact that I might know this song and , "THAT WORD!!" Poor woman. What heck this Honorclub, English Assistant put that her through. The all night orgies, the drunken debauchery, the....  Hey, wait a minute. That wasn't me doing those things that was my brother. I had one date and was a virgin at 21. Maybe not the worlds oldest virgin but.... I have a deficit of debauchery.

Cue the Jimmy Buffet parrotheads and break out the tequilla.

 Whyyy don't weeeee get drunk and ....

Yes, I am serious. I you have a grin on your face cause you got the bigger irony and humor of this post? Email me. Otherwise. Well. Not to worry. It wasn't meant in a cynical or unhappy way. Nope. Just being "sunsilly". I blogged about the word in the words that aren't words but should be post. Short time ago time wise; long time ago post wise. Please don't make me have to go find it. Just trust me. I blogged it. "Sunsilly" is like "punchdrunksilly" or giggling at a something even if it isn't politically correct. You know. When you say, "Well I know it's not PC but you've got to admit it is funny." 

Think "fart" jokes.

Or laughing at your Uncle Fred's funeral because did they really dress him in that frikken lime green leisure suit. And you know that Aunt Ethel's heart was in the right place. It was after all Uncle Fred's favorite suit but dang that suit is just fuggly. Got it. "Sunsilly"  When you just get silly from being out in the sun and the garden way too long and when you get that hot? The stupid comes out.

"sunsilly"

Actually for those who might complain about this last song on a Sunday morning. One, you've never been to our house on a Sunday morning. It's a pretty good song.  Just like "Fruitcake" is a fantastic Christmas song. Two, this activity on a Sunday morning, like taking a shower with someone, is just good clean fun. 

Save the world. Shower with a friend.

( I miss the 60's and 70's. That time had the best slogans. People actually took them seriously. Make love not war. Peace dude. Simpler times and better sex I hear. And, while yes there was VD, there was no AIDS. Love was still a recreational drug.)

Oh and you tried to explain Blogland to the uninitiated? Mercy girl I'd have liked to be a fly on that wall. 

You have more sense than I do. I'd have played the song. Well maybe not posted the lyrics but I'd have posted the vid. Or the reference at least. That is a VERY famous Parrothead song.

Did you ever go to the FloraBama?

Try explaining the Mullet Toss at the FloraBama to your friend. For that matter try explaining the FloraBama. Or "dry" counties. Just TRY to  explain the concept of a  "dry" county.  I love Miranda Lambert's take on the concept. Sad note. The last time we went to see the FloraBama was after Ivan. A huricaine sure can move the sand. Made a mess of the place. Only thing going was someone selling FloraBama tshirts.

LOL. Sigh.

Anything misspelled  uh missspelled uhm heck not spelled right is a typo. Deal with it.

Besides some of them might be on purpose and very funny. :D

For last night's sound tract?   This is dedicated

Important:

To WaryCary of TWoP. I don't know you. Like folks who I don't know read here, I read what she and the other ladies and guy write at TWoP.  I know I give you guys a hard time here on 12 dogs but hey I really do enjoy your LLS withCF forum. Anyway. I just read that WaryCary (if you read that site you know who I'm talking about. She did tech support for this past Upfronts)  she and some friends were apparently on the way to see Craig Ferguson in concert when they were hit by some idiot who ran a red light. Happened 5 minutes from the concert venue. Two folks are reported hurt. Wary Cary is okay. Heck of a way to spend a night. Prayers to you folks. Hope you're better soon.

Happy fourth. Stay safe and remember to buckle up.

Jack the Intern and the folks at  12 dogs.

-------------12 dogs day begins here:

Oh and for in the odd comments department. If he'd have asked me? I'd have said, "Yes!"

What's that song? "...say what you need to say..."

I guess I just did.

------------

Song request.

Hmmm Jimmy Buffet. 

Well if you're a traditionalist Parrothead type person like me.

Why don't we get drunk and ....

But there is Barefoot Children. And then the description of my perfect man, " school boy heart and novelist's eye..."  Sorry, I'm horrible  at remembering titles of songs and I make up lyrics when I sing in the shower. Not on purpose. I just haven't taken the time to learn the correct lyrics.  Then there's my families personal favorite- "Fruitcakes". A great song to play at Christmas ( or during a General Election )to keep you sane in a crazy world.

Better cue up some Buffet here. I'm listening to "NewDay" By Celine Dion. And I like it. ARRRRGGGH. Quick Some George Thorogood on the radio.

All Night Long Lionel Richie. Yeah I know he's Nicole Richies dad. But the man put out some great songs. Real toe tappers. Come on tell me you didn't listen to his stuff. Gowan. I did. Loved it.

-------

new song on the playlist

You know folks, I always tell you that this is a writer's journal and that fact and fiction live here. But our philosophy is that while in reality we don't really all put our pants on "one leg at a time", we are all humans on this earth.  There are people on the otherside of the words typed on the internet.  Human kindness for the human conditon.  We believe in prayer. Prayers to you this  day if you're having a bad day. We've seen the darkside of the night on more than one occasion. Nights when we didn't have anybody. But we did. If you look out on those dark nights and look at the sky or go people watch outside your window, find your favorite internet site for a laugh,  if you say a prayer, and  look real close? There are angels everywhere who will give you a hug. 

You might not see them at first but they're there.

Good night.

Ann.

Next stop? Just so you'll know

This is where (namewithheld inorder to avoid embarassment)'s friend will find their blog entry!

Happy reading! You're now apart of 12 dogs and a blog. Welcome!

---------------door to the rest of 12 dogs??? ------------

Good morning eBay Blogland shoppers.

Or back to the Blogs  if you're finished. Cya' AuthorAnn

Good morning ebay Blogland shoppers! Happy Weekend!Bored? Got something new to read. My version of spam. It's linked here and ya gotta look for it but if you're really allert you can find it.

Oh, and You've got mail!.

He gets up before the dawn;
Packs a lunch an' a thermos full of coffee.
It's another day in the dusty haze;
Those burnin' rays are wearin' down his body.
The diesels worth the price of gold;
It's the cheapest grain he's ever sold,
But he's still holdin' on.

He just takes the tractor another round,
An' pulls the plow across the ground,
And sends up another prayer.
He says: "Lord, I never complain, I never ask: 'Why?'
"Please don't let my dreams run dry,
"Underneath, underneath this Amarillo Sky."

That hail storm back in '83,
Sure did take a toll on his family.
But he stayed strong and carried on,
Just like his Dad and Granddad did before him.
On his knees every night,
He prays: "Please let my crops and children grow,"
'Cause that's all he's ever known.

He just takes the tractor another round,
An' pulls the plow across the ground,
And sends up another prayer.
He says: "Lord, I never complain, I never ask: 'Why?'
"Please don't let my dreams run dry,
"Underneath, underneath this Amarillo Sky."

[Instrumental Break]

An' he takes the tractor another round. (Another round.)
Another round. (Another round.)
Another round.
An' he takes the tractor another round, another round.
He says: "I never complain, I never ask: 'Why?'
"Please don't let my dreams run dry,
"Underneath, underneath this Amarillo Sky.
"Underneath this Amarillo Sky."

sung by Jason Aldean  "Amarillo Sky"

This is a song while the lyrics are fine it is after all meant to be heard.

I am adopted Red Neck. I am a Waterbaby. A GulfCoastal soul.

" I have a school boy heart and novelists eye..." That's Jimmy Buffet. Go listen.

But I have only been able to go "home" in my heart. My home long since destroyed by huricanes and time.  I've been with RedNecks here. Old Scots and Irishmen. Tempered by Creeks. It's taught me the value of the song above. Of faith. Of taking my own "tractor another round... another round..."  With dignity? Yes, but I don't do it even close to as good a job as they do.  I have seen such grace. I'm greatful.

But my "home" is on the coast. My "home" is in the grace of sails full of air and the vast of the waters. When I go there I get a physical pang.

I'm lucky. I have two "homes".  One foot in the waters of the Gulf of Mexico and one foot in the red clay of the south.  Where ever I go, a part of me will alwasy be in the Red Neck Nation.

This is the only post for today.

You can go see the rest of past posts by clicking here Hello

Edited for only one of two reasons. Ya'll gotta keep checking in. Things change. Links are added. Life is good. . Lifes  a highway only one way your gonna get through it. Day's not over, Good ride cowboy Good ride Cowboy Good ride. Sleep late and going fishin. Hey tomorrow is Saturday somewhere. Gooooodddddd Riiiiiiideeeee.. and goin fishing.

LOL Those bears and  Bubba's and CJ's  of the Red Neck Nation they sure are a fine mess.

Don't know your Red Neck from trailor park trash? Read RedNeck Politico.  Look for it in today's  You've got mail!.

Like I said  they sure are a fine mess.

Pssst. Comments are ON but hidden. Don't tell anybody.

Everybodys talking bout a new sound funny cause it's still rock and roll to me.

You've got mail!.

I know there are folks who have trouble with the videos. I'm going to post the lyrics instead. Most folks already know the song.  But just in case you don't, look it up and give it a listen.

".. there are girls across the nation that who will eat this up..."

Nope wait. That song is by Sara Bareilles. Off of the album Little Voice

The song I'm thinking about is

" ...everyone's talking bout the new sound funny cause it's still rock and roll to me..."

Billy Joes's  song.

What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing?
"Can't you tell that your tie's too wide?"
Maybe I should buy some old tab collars?
"Welcome back to the age of jive.
Where have you been hidin' out lately, honey?
You can't dress trashy till you spend a lot of money."
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new sound
Funny, but it's still rock and roll to me

What's the matter with the car I'm driving?
"Can't you tell that it's out of style?"
Should I get a set of white wall tires?
"Are you gonna cruise the miracle mile?
Nowadays you can't be too sentimental
Your best bet's a true baby blue Continental."
Hot funk, cool punk, even if it's old junk
It's still rock and roll to me

Oh, it doesn't matter what they say in the papers
'Cause it's always been the same old scene.
There's a new band in town
But you can't get the sound from a story in a magazine...
Aimed at your average teen

How about a pair of pink sidewinders
And a bright orange pair of pants?
"You could really be a Beau Brummel baby
If you just give it half a chance.
Don't waste your money on a new set of speakers,
You get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers."
Next phase, new wave, dance craze, anyways
It's still rock and roll to me

What's the matter with the crowd I'm seeing?
"Don't you know that they're out of touch?"
Should I try to be a straight `A' student?
"If you are then you think too much.
Don't you know about the new fashion honey?
All you need are looks and a whole lotta money."
It's the next phase, new wave, dance craze, anyways
It's still rock and roll to me

Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new sound
Funny, but it's still rock and roll to me

Interesting quote?

'..cause I got money b&%$#h..."    really. I do too. Maybe not your level but I'm doin okay. Only mine doesn't make me so unhappy. It did. Now it doesn't. It'st just a tool to get me through the day. I have more than some and less than some. Keeps me from getting the big head.

"...Everybody's talkin' bout the new sound/Funny but it's still rock and roll to me."

Next  The power of Try.

Dear Tryork,

It has come to our attention that you have kindly defended one of our honorary Transformers. Her name being IronChassis. In thanks we would like to make you an honorary Transformer. Your name would be Trylork, Superhero of Blogland.  It's kind of like a stripper name if you were a 50 foot tall, 2 ton transforming robot.  Good news too. You would have super hero powers! Your super hero power would be hurling Snarkos at eeevill doers resulting in them falling to the ground and laughing hysterically. This power would from now on be known as The Power of TRY. 

Oh and you will also be able to transform into a Prius.

Thank you again,

My Transformer's Club

Thanks,

Iron.

PS  Thank you Try.

You've got mail!.

Bengal66 and Imagine. Since I keep my comments off and you seemed concerned I answered your comments in the post:  ...out of the palm of your hand... 

Wascheck. I responded to your comment as well.

Everyone else?

Click here>"...Just a song before I go..."

Ba ba ba, ba ba sha-doo be-doo.
Ba ba ba, ba ba sha-doo be doo.

(That song is going to in my head. ARRRRRGG! At least it's entertaining. Mercy if it was borrrrringgg.)

Altogether now.

Ba ba ba, ba ba sha-doo be-doo.
Ba ba ba, ba ba sha-doo be doo.

Take care ya'll. Ann.

Go read the *question of the day

.

"...And I forgot the party had a theme..."

From the song Do the Panic by Phantom Planet. From the CD Raise the Dead 

Do you have these songs on your playlist...

Right now I don't have anything really clever to say here.   I want to believe in love. I do. But you know what? I don't think that love believes in me.  And I never really thought about it, but did you know that before they give you a legal injection, they swab the injection site with alcohol?  I heard it in a obit story for George Carlin.  Isn't that just a strangely weird thing. That and the fact that "..all men are created equal.." was written by someone who owned slaves. And both presidential candidates are campaigning on a platform that there is clean coal? Frankly I don't want to eat out of someone's hand.  I want to swim in their heart.  I want to be someones one and only. I want to sit quietly while someone showers me with kisses while I retain my feminist cred of course.  

Frankly, Tryork , I'm just feeling pitiful. 

Note to reader.  Like many folks who read the eBay blogs, I'm a fan of tryork's sureal humour.  If you read the "Frankly, Tryork" referenced above, you'll see that  I post that we're doing okay here at 12 dogs. But if you're ever worried simply put it in comments OR send an email. I'll let ya' know if  things change. 

Speaking of which. 

While I have comments ON but hidden, I thought I'd answer comments on this particular post.

First to Wascheck.

Hey ya Wascheck. How's life. Yeah it was sad to hear of George Carlin's death. No matter what your opinion of his  comedy, you have to agree he certainly had an impact on the nature of entertainment. Alwasy good to hear from you.

Apparently this post worried some folks. So.

From Imagine

ROFLMBO. Bengal.  I'm a cranky OLD GROWNUP.  Sometimes I think I was born grown up and have been trying to find my childhood. You're all about economy of words in your posts so I was thinking that the use of the word  "pitiful"  would be a clue of self parody. LOL Not to worry Bengal at my age? LOL  I wish I got the luxury of "pitiful". If you had to come up with a descriptive phrase? For my personal state of mind? It would be pessimisitic optimist.  I am by nature an optimist and dreamer but I'm pessimistic about this optimisim because, yep, I am a grown up. Death of my newborn son due to lacking healthcare, he never came home to the hospital and spent his entire life in a state of paralysis so that he wouldn't fight the ventalator,  has led me to  a state of transient IDJGAS.  If you read my blog, you'll know what that is.

Well I haven't posted one of these in a bit.  I do it so folks won't worry about how I'm doing.

Remember. If you're worried asked and read below.

The  12 dogs version of fine print.

Hey ya. Before you read on into 12 dogs and a blog, it's time for one of our reminders that you will find throughout the blog. 12 dogs and a blog is a writer's journal. Fact and fiction reside here. Here I work on the elements of writing. You need to know this. Otherwise you could end up worried or confussed. 12 dogs is for fun. To watch a new writter learn to write as she does it.  If you want to know what is fact and what is fiction just ask. Oh and just so you'll know. WB and Pups are real. So unfortunately is the  illness that WB's brother has. And the wedding and the trip too.  

Oh And I update the posts. Alot. Like all living things that respond to life.  So can this blog.. 

Have a good read. Author Ann.

Or

Want to take a short cut?

Here's what I suggest.

First go to "This day in History.101."

From there take the prompt  to  You've got mail!.

Who did that song?  Eagles?  Naw. Hmm. Oh CSN & Y.  I'm feeling nostalgic.  I forget.  Anyway.

Hey ya. Before you read on into 12 dogs and a blog, it's time for one of our reminders that you will find through out the blog. 12 dogs and a blog is a writer's journal. Fact and fiction reside here. Here I work on the elements of writing. You need to know this.  If you want to know what is fact and what is fiction just ask. Oh and just so you'll know. WB and Pups are real. So unfortunately is the  illness that WB's brother has. And the wedding and the trip too.  

Oh And I update the posts. Alot. Like all living things that respond to life.  So can this blog.. 

Have a good read. Author Ann.

Oh and I heard the news today oh boy.....

Pup and WB's great adventure.  They are back from their wedding adventure. Bride was beautiful. WB's brother is happy.

"For the whole 12 dogs and a blog for this week? Say a liitle prayer...

"... The stars in the sky

      twinkle hello as we walk by

      Walkin' hand in hand,

      Underneath the haarrveesstt mooooonn

      oww oh oh

      When we go out walkin'

      Underneath that harvest mooooon...

      chorus from  song "Harvest Moon" by IronChassis November, 2007

"Star light

 Star bright

 First star I see tonight.

 I wish I may

 I wish i might

 Have this wish I wish tonight...."

--Children's nursey rhyme

So--

Whatcha reading this summer?

12 dogs and a blog's "Recomended Reading List for This Week in Summer" reading list.

12 dogs and a blog's  "Recomended Reading List for This Week in Summer"  reading list.

First selection?

No You're outta order.

Oh mercy, YOU"RE not outta order. The SELLECTION is  "No You're outta order."

Keep up.

Gotta go. It's lightning out and I don't wanna' fry the computer. Cya' AuthorAnn

Update.

Hurrah! Thanks Imagine. Computer and I made it okay!!  And we got rain and sunshine! 

I'm going to update this weeks interactive story each day.  May add new posts but they won't show up on main page.  You might want to read this series of posts like a book. Alittle at a time. That way you can enjoy it over the week and slacker me won't have to write so much. My arm still hurts pretty bad. I just can't seem to ease it and I can't lift it higher than an inch or two. I need to rest and not type but I'm afraid if I stop, I won't be able go back and catch up. I  come up with stories all the time. I just don't write them down. Now I feel like I should for Pup and WB.  Trust me people, there's alot here. If I don't add another thing this week you'll have enough to keep you busy.

Well that's it for the evening.

Just in time. I hear the dogs a barking and that means one thing!!!

Kiddo is back from his adventure with WB! They went to a wedding.  They've  been gone since Friday afternoon.  I hope they had a good time. Will find out lots of stories and good family gossip.

Yep that's him at the door!

Cya'

Happy Reading. Author Ann

PS They had a great and safe time. Wedding sounded like a terrific experience. WB has tomorrow off. Will have more time to visit.

Now we're all going to get some sleep and visit more in the morning.

You will never know how happy I am to have Pup back safe. I'm glad he and WB went and I am glad that they are back.

Good night,

Author Ann

Update Whoo Hooo. Pup and WB had a great time!! Great wedding and ...

So much adventure and they are telling me in bits and pieces. Too much to update here. I think they'll need their own post. For more info see  Pup and WB's great adventure.

Now to first reading list selection:

No You're outta order.