Dear Auntie Slacker, I'm having a lovely affair with a younger man

Dear Auntie Slacker,

I'm having a lovely affair with a younger man.

It  is such a uncomplicated affair.

He's so charming.

Each night around 11:30. He comes calling. So attentive. So undemanding. Imagine a man who thinks I'm a gorgeous creature. Me in my sweatpants, tshirt, and anti aging cream! But he does. Oh and Auntie he is such a fox. Oooohh those piercing blue grey eyes. That tossled salt and pepper hair.

It's perfect. From him I get uncomplicated unconditional attention and laughter after a difficult day in the world. And he? What does he get for his trouble? Well Auntie near as I can tell. An airplane, a house, and pretty durn rich. But wait. It's not what you think. It's not my money. No this man is no gigolo. The relationship is good clean fun. Honest. I don't have to do a thing but sit back and laugh.  And Auntie, he does say it makes him happy too. Especially the airplane. He loves the airplane.

The thing is Auntie. Lately my uncomplicated affair is getting to be- well- complicated. Before I would listen to his stories and laugh. That was all. But now Auntie I find my self burdened. Burdened Auntie. Burdened with such trivial information like- I dunno- the fact that he has a birthday in May. Auntie! I never expected him to know my birthday. Why, oh why, should I be burdened with knowing his. And now thanks to those women at TWoP I also know that he wrote a book. Which naturally I felt obligated to purchase and read. Then there's his job. I now check for tourdates in our city. This is time and effort that I'm not sure I want to put into the relationship. I mean will he look up the time and date of my next hair cut and curl? I think not. The next think you'll know I'll be expected to see one of his comedy shows. This will require advanced planning, dieting, wardrobe, perhaps airfare/hotels, and gasp maybe even pantyhose, highheels and a dress.

Just the thought of it makes me tired.

It's just not the level of  commitment I've been ready to give to anyone Auntie.

What should I do?

Should I pack my bags, throw caution to the wind, and make that West Coast trip to visit? I've been waiting for him to come South and personally I don't think it's happening. Plus we just have such a lovely relationship now. He's funny.  I laugh. He gets paid.  I get company. He gets an airplane.  Life is good.

Let me know Auntie. This new increase in commitment is kind of chaffing.

I think I'm even getting a rash.

Oh! And Auntie there is something else. I call it the "kittie caper". It difficult Auntie. I'm not sure that I can look past it. I'm not prude and I know that he's not a fan of cats. But oh my Auntie. What he did to that poor little kitties photo. It was -- just-- well-- it just can't even talk about it. All that I can manage to say is well, "It's just not nice to blow the head off little kitties. Even if it is a pretend photo of a kitty. It was a furry little kittie photo for heavensakes. I mean how could he even think of it.

I know it's the writers. They are evil. But still shouldn't he stand up to them and say, "No!" Isn't it a measure of a man seeing what lines he won't cross. What next Auntie" Will he be pulling the heads off  comics!!!!

I put myself in you hands Auntie. What do you say?

 

Thanks bunches.

xxxooo

Sign me,

Burdened in Birmingham

 

Another letter.

Dear Auntie,

I'm in such a tizzy,

I'm so conflicted.

Last night, on the Late late Show, They showed  that poor little kitties head getting blown up again. This is so wrong Auntie. So very, very, very, wrong. I am a good girl and I love the little animals. I know that it is wrong to watch. Thing is Auntie, every time I watch the durn thing I start wanting to laugh. I stop myself. But Auntie it is so difficult.

I know it's wrong but last night when TV's Craig Ferguson said that the kitty was reincarnated right before our very eyes. Well I finally just started in a fit of uncontrolable laughter. I know it was wrong Auntie. What am I going to do.

Hurry quick Auntie. A PETA rep is at the door. I don't have much time.

Please advise.

Sign me,

Loves the Kitties.

 

The letters are pouring in gentle readers. Rest assured that Auntie is on the case.

 

Auntie's answer in Thursday's 12 dogs.

PS. No kitties were harmed in the above and well you'll have to read tomorrow's answer to find out just what "Burdened in Birmingham" is on about.

Take care and see you then!!!

Iron

 

Note sorry that Auntie didn't answer her mail Wednesday. She was busy ministering to politicians who were in a funk over on in the Demcratic Party.  She has been very busy as you can imagine. But she promises to answer this letter just as soon as Ugly Betty is over and before the Late Late Show comes on. Can't be done sooner.  Oh and she wanted to allert you that Henry will ask Betty to marry him 2 nite!!!! For those who didn't know. Will she say yes?

She'd better.

That Gio fella gets on our last nerve.

See ya later to night. 

Auntie and Company.

Added the Tuesday after the Thursday when that Henry character was supposed to ask that Betty character to marry him.

What are the folk at Ugly Betty thinking. I love that show but the last two years? WTH? Here there was this really lovely chemistry between Betty and Henry. It was fantastic. It caused buzz. And then? They brought in the Charlie story line. OMGoodness. To make matters worse? They bring in Gio.  With NO chemistry.  Do the writers hate the Betty character? Seriously what? Please drop kick the Gio character. The words are like lead coming out of his mouth. Sorry it's just sad to watch. As for Henry and Betty? It's New York City in the Fall. Try again. Put those two back together. Those two fictional fools need a "real live fake relationship".  Enough with the finding one's self. Enough with the arbitrary complications. Fall in NewYork is romance. Sit back and let those two finally have at it. Have her go to Italy this summer so she can find herself  AND THEN?  Let Henry go there to get her in September.  If not Henry? Then please let it be someone she has sexual and romantic chemistry with. Someone who'll sweep her off her feet and make us all week in the knees. Please, an autumn romance in NYC.  It really doesn't get better. Just think of the lead up to Christmas. NYC tourist board and the Mayor's Office will be Ugly Betty's BFF. 

PLEASE!!

And for mercy's sake let me write the script. I am a genius at escapism.  This escapism stuff is my life. Really.

I really miss the Freshman year Ugly Betty. It was fun. It was fresh. It was the best thing on Tv. Now?  Boy was I glad to see the summer hiatus.

This Spring's shows just stunk.

Yours,

Auntie Slacker, Jack the Intern, Ann, IronChassis, Hannah Murphy and the rest of us semi fictional characters at the 12 dogs and blog blog.

 

Answers to Auntie's letters soon.

Otherwise?

Back to today's blog entry Hitchhiker's guide to this galaxy

Or

Back to What did I learn last night?

Or

Back to Hannah in Blogland. A dialog.

Or

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Cya'