off the page Other Questions of the day.

>>>>>Other Questions of the Day.

There are three questions of the day because it's the weekend and these are good weekend questions.

If I don't get to post on Monday, this will give you a Monday question to tide you over until Tuesday.

Don't read the first question. If you do you might not have anything to read on Monday. It will spoil your Question of the Day experience. Then you'll be angry with me or at the very least annoyed.

I don't like that.

Okay. The question that is really for Monday but I'm posting now in case I don't get to post tomorrow and I know how much you look forward to this Question of the Day post and  well I kind of like that in a weird and wanderful (intentional typo) way. And I kind of like these questions in a weird and wonderful way.  And it's Sunday afternoon and raining so while I should be snogging, which between me and you I would rather be doing but I'm not due to "celebacy rules". And because I'm hoping that at least one of my gentle readers is a good lookin' fella that'll make my heart go. OOOOH and hopefully didn't read my Man Rant about how all men were unsuccessfully weaned as babies and therefore spend the rest of their lives trying to find "the great big, soft round things that made the pang in their stomach go away so they can roll over and go to sleep" thingy they lost so tragically as babies. Women just get weaned and guilted. That's another rant though where I chat about anorexia, poor body image and guilt. Women don't look for "for the big round soft things that made the pang in their stomach go away so the can roll over and go to sleep" thingy. Some women are so successfully weaned that they actually have a negative conditioning to breasts. They certainly weren't able to joyfully experience the full belly portion either. Nope. They either gave that up when puberty meant being flat chested was going to be a life style and became fashion models who make women feel even more guilty because they aren't thin. Or they had those "great big round soft things" and spent the rest of their life time hoping that the guys they talk to would for once look up and notice they had a face. (and a brain as well)

See I'm a conflicted feminist. I'm going to fuss and rightfully so about the stupidity of body image and how alot of it comes from unsucessfully weaning our wee babes. That's the feminist part. But then I'm going to hope like heck that there is a good lookin' fella reading this who will think, "Ah, a humorous female who likes polka dot plunge bras and can write. And notices that I have a brain too."D

Oh and points if you have a sense of humor and folks are always stopping you to say,"Geeze, you look just like George Clooney."  That would be the conflicted part. I would say "...just like Tv's Craig Ferguson..." Thing is  I like to keep my "... admittedly shallow, hubba hubba, reaction to great looking men who are smart funny and have a brain and are actually funny without pandering to the TwoP." from my crushes on "shalow but admittedly good looking and sexy men who while they are smart and funny and do have a brain and are actually funny but who unfortunately act like TwoP's   b #tch".  Sorry did I actually write that?  Yes. I did because I still hope that the later will snap outta it and show those (cough) ladies of Twop who's the boss. I'd just love  that 'cause I like him all, " I can't live by your rules man" with the  tossled hair. The tossled GREY hair by the way. I LIKE the grey hair but then I like grown men too. Not like the ones in the commercial. Those guys look like the men's underwear photos in the old mail order catalogs.  Hmmm. Cheesy. I just like the salt and pepper, tossel headed, whip cracking, seriously intense, tie loosened, shoeless feet on the desk, seriously sex, even better than Geoge Clooney, T'v's Craig Ferguson.  Won't even begin to tell you what the suit and loosened tie does for my day. Yummy. 

I just hate it when he acts like TwoP's B #tch.

But I LURVE it when he's all butch. 

Maybe he should bring back the whip crack. :D

Until he does? Separate catagory.

While we're are on this subject, did I tell you I thought Craig Ferguson was the realists George Clooney. I'm not fixated on the man. I just liked that sentence as a quote. That and the other one about him being "The thinking woman's eye candy. " That's a good one too.

Thing is George Clooney is just so perfect. Looking at him- it's like looking into the sun. Just too overwhelming an experience. Now this "new and improved Craig Ferguson? The one like was on last Friday?. He's like if you took George Clooney, put him out into the sun (and rain) all summer. Oh and you also dunked him in the Citty Pool all summer (the one with so much chlorine that your eyes start to water before you get in the door -not to be confused with "Spicey Dragon Peaches's pool.). Then if you didn't moisturize him at all or put sunscreen on him and then left him outside without hosing him down first. That kind of Craig Ferguson. You know that kind of "driftwoody" look. Anyway if you did this to George Clooney? The result would be last week's Tv's Craig Ferguson. A "driftwoody" version of George Clooney.

Because, you see, George Clooney's other address is Mt. Olympus (for alot of reasons ;D ). Last week's Craig Ferguson you might actually see at the Target. Definately not Mt. Olympus address. But unlike George Clooney, last week's Mr. Ferguson is  scalable. "Scalable" that is the correct word right? I mean it llike "climbable".  Which is very much unlike George Clooney who'd leave us all breathless and in need of a hit of Oxygen and all  when we got to the top.  In comparison , last weeks  Tv's Craig Ferguson would be a stroll. No Oxygen required.

Well, I told you in "What did I learn tonight?  Special Friday Edition"  that I got all kinds of entertaining and writterly . :D Thanky. Thanky very much. Mmmmm. Now if we would just get that "I can't live by your rules man" version of Tv's CF back, I would be all kinds of satisfied and truthfully so would the ladies at TwoP.   :D

Makes us all kinda' quiver a bit.

"Don't you just love that word, "quiver". No wait that's for next week's blog. Sorry.

The question:   (finally)

If an unattractive woman charges 1 dollar for a kiss and a good lookiing woman asks for 3, how much should your smokin' hot, Playmate of the Year cousin Susan ask you for one?

It's a trick question.

You did get that right?

Wait, that was today's question wasn't it. I did that on purpose cause I figured you were going to read the question that I asked you specifically NOT to read but you read it anyway just like I would have because we are just that kinda' person.

Wait a second. You mean your not that kinda' person and you didn't read the question like I asked? Hurrah!!!  Neither am I.

IF IT"S SUNDAY?  STOP READING!!!! NOW!!! Scroll down to the Note to Reader part.

If it's Monday?

Sorry. Here's the  question for Monday that you're not to read now. Unless of course it's Monday. If that's the case, well, read away.

So.

How come folks who will lecture on the evils of eating a hamburger or "...want fries with that..." will also be the ones who can fill you in on the latest stuff on TV?

I don't know the answer. I eat the hamburgers and watch the pop stuff on TV. Thought maybe you might know.

Oh and incase you are in that demographic I listed above? You know. The "... admittedly shallow, hubba hubba reaction to, great looking men who are smart funny and have a brain and are actually funny without pandering to the TwoP." That demographic. The one who actually thinks buying the paper clip off ebay as her last eBay purchase was funny?

That guy?

Email me.

Note to reader. That third question is now in the Past Questions of the Day section because today is now Sunday and yesterday is after all the past so I put the Saturday question in the past because that Saturday  IS in the past and well that's where it belongs. And no I don't care if that bothers you because of the gramatical/syntax inconsistences between the sentence of the first paragraph and that of this paragraph. I don't care. Nor do I care if I misspelled inconsistancy. II DON'T CARE. What are you like  in bed? You probably micromanage every move. Forget it. I don't want to know what you're like. It might throw me off sex forever. After all this celebacy thing is a temporarry situation.

At least I hope so.

Past Questions of the Day (newest first)