Then you're an old fart :o)

 25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
   1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 
   2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 
   3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 
   4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 
   5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
   6. You watch the Weather Channel.
   7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
   8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
   9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
   10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door   won't turn down the
        stereo.
   11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
   12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
   13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
   14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
   15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
   16. You would like to take naps.
   17. Dates with your significant other have become dinner OR    movie rather than it's a given that you
       do both.
   18. Your idea of a fun day off is relaxing in  front of the TV. 
   19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms or beer.
   20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good s#%*."
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
   22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
   23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
   24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
   25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them
        instead of asking "Oh s#%*, what the h*@# happened?"
    
   Bonus:
    
   26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that  doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old self.