Mother's Day 2007

This is going to be a difficult holiday this year for my husband. You see, he just lost his mother at age 84 on March 23. Actually we feel we lost her long ago when Alzheimer's took over her mind but knowing you will never see her again is difficult and painful. We were very fortunate, though, that we were able to be there with her when she left us. With the help of hospice, she remained at home surrounded by family. My husband sang Ave Maria to her and we said our good-byes. She left us with no pain, no discomfort, no anxiety. Just peace and love. You can't get much better than that.

It is strange not having to worry about two gifts for Mother's Day this year. I saw the most beautiful bouquet of various purple (her favorite color) flowers from a catalog of a site where I order from and the first thing that I thought of was how much she would like those. Then I remembered and it hurt. I was one of the fortunate who had a wonderful mother-in-law that I loved very much. Tears fill my eyes now thinking about her not being with us any longer. My own mother is not in the best of health, either, and it strikes me that at some point there will be no one for us on Mother's Day to remember. That is one of the sad parts of growing older.

My MIL gave me a gift before she died. I was put in the position of having to help care for her despite not knowing much about these things. One morning my husband woke me and told me they thought her catheter had come out. My first thought was ummm yeah and what am I supposed to do about this? I talked to the nurse on the phone which really wasn't much help but we determined there was a much lesser problem than we thought. Still, her bedding needed to be changed and she needed to be cleaned up. I helped my FIL wash her and rub lotion on and we changed her gown. Luckily I have seen sheets changed in hospitals enough times to know how to do that with the minimum of fuss. We got all done and she looked at me and said, "Thank you." Now you need to understand that most times she talked and we couldn't tell what she was saying or what she was talking about so that was pretty special right there. But then she said, "I love you so much." There is nothing else anyone could have said or done right then that would have been more special to me. I am so grateful I was able to be there and experience that and help out with her care.

If you have someone in your life you call Mom or a special lady that was there for you don't forget to let her know you are thinking about her and you care. And, if your mother is not exactly what you would like her to be, well, try to understand most people do the best they can and many are products of how they were brought up. If you are a mom, don't forget to celebrate being that special someone in a little person's life. This year my MIL is spending Mother's Day with her baby granddaughter who died at age 2 months and my son, who died at 14 so she won't be alone. God bless her - she was such a special, dear person to so many.

The book The Notebook (also a movie) by Nicholas Sparks is a wonderful one about a couple who deals with this tragic disease. I urge you to read it as you will understand more about it.