New Year's Resolutions - Edited & Improved...oops - and some stuff about shipping, too!

I am not one for eschewing New Year's resolutions - they are still a wonderful opportunity even if they are initially disguised to look like a scary diet, other unrealistic goals and provide all new easy fodder for more self-reproaching. After all I am a masochist at heart, so just let me find new ways to torture myself already! (Then at least I can maintain my equilibrium.) Too much success and happiness? I have absolutely no idea what I would do with it. What would I write about then? Rapturous prose on Zen thoughts? No - not for me. Laughing despair is more my style.

But I this year I am thinking progressively. I have decided to use my resolutions as loosely-based "guides." This way I can make edits in them as I go along when necessary. For example, today - my "two-a-day Slimfast + two Lean Cuisines and one piece of fruit" became "all of that plus a tin of chicken and black olives on fat-free saltines." No harm done. Just a few more calories, right?

Though some of my resolutions just may not fare as well under a microscope. For example my "drop three sizes so I am almost unrecognizable, go even blonder, have all new photos taken and then get an apartment in the city and put up an all-new all-different dating site profile so I can lure the last jerk I went out with (who won't recognize me because let's face it, they don't even recognize you if all you do is alternate your primary photo!) back into my web and break his heart this time" idea may be a bit out there. It was kind of low on the list anyway...A "well if I get through all of these other things then maybe I can do this" type-of-plan. But farther up on the list - where I write a book about all crazy dating stories I have acquired in the last year – is still looking entirely feasible.

Did I mention this little essay was actually about shipping stuff to my customers? Sorry - I digressed! Anyway...I made a "firm" resolution to get up to date on shipping and stay that way, permanently. Then I altered that a little by actually making a bona-fide schedule to keep (this was an improvement over Plan A which was a little too over-generalized. I could have easily rationalized that any shipping that was quicker-than-before achieved my goal). Okay....(drumroll, please) - it is THE 15TH and I AM STILL ON SCHEDULE. Actually ahead even. Yeah !!!! (knowing this to be a feat of mass-proportion – eBayers everywhere applaud in unison)