I read this book after I listed it. It has to be the worst book I have ever laid hands on! If you need a joke gift for someone - please buy this book. It would also make a great doorstop or paperweight. It is also good for toning the arms since it is really heavy. Put it this way, it is so bad, I had to blog about it!

A few of my eBay items - qsell

Absolute Friends 2004

Warning – Selling on Ebay can be Hazardous…a bedtime (true) story

 

I sold a “bigger than a breadbox” item the other day. I glommed it from my son’s garage the last time I went to visit. He has some great stuff that he isn’t using and I swear he will never miss this thing...and someday I will tell him I stole it and sold it on Ebay. He told me he would look for things for me to sell, so it is kind-of alright. If you say it real fast.

 

Anyway, this thing could not go in an envelope. I needed a real live box. So I started looking for one that would fit. The thing was 4” x 14” x  23” inches long, so the standard “oh sure, I’ve got one that will fit” box just wasn’t in my world that night. My honey and I looked all over for the perfect box and sure enough, I found one in our bedroom. Unfortunately, it was the box that a present had come in. For him. Now I believe that once you open a box and take out the item, the box can be disposed of. That is not, I have discovered, a universal understanding. When I asked him for the box, I got the lecture about how he might have to return the item sometime in the years to come and he would need the original box. Personally, I have never sent anything back, but who knows, maybe he is right. I do know it is useless to argue about boxes, so I let it go. About an hour later he relented and came in carrying the box and presented it to me as if it was the crown of the realm. I expected him to tell me to “guard it well” or something.

 

So I began packing the box. Since he had made the ultimate sacrifice, he felt obligated to stay and “help” me. I packed paper around my item and nestled it in the box. He took it out and “fixed” it. I closed the box and began taping it. He took the tape away from me and put another strip of tape in a “better” place. I took the tape back. He took it away from me again to show me how to do it better. Visualize two adults each with both hands and arms wrapped around a medium size box. One person has the tape and has crossed it over the arms of the other person effectively taping them to the box.

“Oh, honey”, I crooned, “That is sooooo much better!” 

Frankly I think I am lucky I did not get the tape embedded in my forehead.

 

Nobody told me selling on Ebay could be hazardous to your relationship.

I love to shop in Office Supply stores.  Other women get a thrill from a great pair of shoes –  me, I’m really happy finding that perfect self inking happy face stamp. No Jimmy Choo’s for me.  Nope, I sigh over a new container of multi-color, plastic coated jumbo paper clips.  So naturally my new hobby – selling on Ebay – gave me the perfect opportunity to do what I crave most.  Shop.  At an office supply store.

 

And it finally happened.  I sold an item.  It was small.  It needed to be shipped.  I needed, dare I say it, SUPPLIES.  So my honey and I go off to the local Office Supply store.  And besides, they were having a sale. (It’s a girl thing.)  I went straight to the shipping supplies and began my hunt.  You see, I have managed my own small business before, so I understand how to do this.  You find the best price and figure each individual unit price and then add all the stuff together and find out how much it will cost to pack your “whatever” for shipping.  Other people were there doing the same thing – my kind of people with small calculators and a thrill of the hunt in their veins.  I had searched through large manila envelopes (12 cents each), clear packing tape ($2.49 a roll) and bubble wrap – small bubbles (21 cents per foot).  “Not bad”, I told by honey when he returned from some man area in the store, “my packing costs will be less than 35 cents per item”.  He said that was great, but how much was it going to cost me tonight to buy everything. When I told him the total would be around $30 his face turned a funny shade of purple.  He asked how many things I had sold on Ebay and I had to admit it was only one.  “One!?!” His voice sounded kind of squeaky when he asked if I was crazy.  No!, I told him, no!, and I knew what I was doing since I had run my own business before and this was how you do it.  People stopped and heads turned to stare.  “Why,” he pleaded, “why don’t you just pack the stuff one thing at a time right now and see how it goes.”  Sensing the kill, people started to nervously move out of the aisle we were in.  “But”, I argued, “it’s on sale!”  He just stared, shook his head and went back to wherever he had been before. I was alone. The rest of the people had moved off in resignation.  I accepted my fate.  I put everything back and walked out of the store bereft, with nothing…nothing…nothing.

 

I sent him back the next day for the packing tape.  He agreed I needed it.

An extra trip.  Vengeance is sweet.

Greetings all,

I have now sold a huge 3 items since New Year's Day. And each item has brought out the beast in me when it comes to shipping. Who came up with all the rules and shapes and sizes? Why does that envelope have to be 3/4 of an inch thick to qualify as a whatever it was I tried to ship it as. (poor grammar - but you get the idea!)

So I shipped the first sale by wrapping the sequined and beaded flags in tissue (individually), taping them to a file folder to make it sturdy and wrapping that in some spongy stuff I got in a Christmas present. You would have thought it was the Hope Diamond or something. That all went in a brown envelope and I bought the shipping label. So now my man takes it to the post office while I go to work. Oh no, that is all wrong. It isn't the right size, I underestimated the weight by 1 ounce and you can't get confirmed delivery on that kind of package. Now you understand I knew about the confirmed delivery thing because the form told me that I couldn't do it, but it wouldn't let me uncheck it - well of course not - I was doing it wrong. Duh! The guy at the post office worked for 20 minutes to try to make my package "legal". He figured a way to add postage and decided that if he put his paperwork on it showing that he accepted it, the package would not be rejected along the way. It worked and was delivered right on time.

So the package cost me an hour of wrapping time, 30 minutes of trying to buy a shipping label, 20 minutes of frustration for my beloved at the post office (and I now owe him dinner at a sit down restaurant) and I made about 10 cents on the entire transaction.

And no - I still don't have any feedback. I am starting to think of my "0" as a shiny little halo.