ok, I was a little toasted when I did this but not too shabby eh? The apples on one side don't show but I don't wanna mess with a good thing.

Tomorrow is new years eve and I'm either going to be newing it or eve'n it but I'm not into eve'n , so be it.

Dammit, New Years Eve means more on the treadmill the day after. Ya play ya pay and I'm just a ramblin' machine tonight :)

Gotta tell you this. I was taking care of some dogs while the owner was away and the owner said 'help yourself to anything you want in the fridge or cupboard. Make yourself at home'. So I did. I spent the night over there and couldn't sleep. I got up in the middle of the night and went into the kitchen. Turned on the pantry light and got a box of raisens out. I turned off the kitchen light and just stood there, opened the box up, stuck my fingers in the box and grabbed a few of those little wrinklys and stuck them in my mouth. I don't know. When something doesn't taste right ya just know it. But did that stop me? Hell no. I reached in, took out some more raisens and ate those too! Geeesh woman! Yuck. Something definitely is not tasting right here. Turned on the light and looked at the box of raisens and there they were..Maggots! OMG! I almost hurled right then and there! Went over to the sink, stuck my fingers down my throat (not that I needed to but I wanted those things outta me!), and out came the maggot covered raisens. They were all looking up at me, moving there little white bodies around, 'mama, mama'. Gross! Down the sink they went and to this day I never, NEVER start eating anything with the lights off. ewwwww still grosses me out.

I believe we all have one thing in common on this earth. We are put here to help each other. That is our purpose. One of our purposes anyway. I believe our time on earth is not judged by our wealth nor our happiness. It is not judged by our education nor our own beliefs.  White collar workers, blue collar workers, welfare mothers and fathers, the homeless. All of us need to help each other. Will this ever happen? No. Not in my lifetime anyway. That's already been proven. When it comes down to it, would you let your neighbor in your basement to share your food not knowing how long you and your children would be there? Would you really? Have you taken in a homeless family because you have three bedrooms that aren't in use? Have you passed up your Thanksgiving Dinner to become humble at a shelter? I haven't.

No need to feel guilty. It's not who we are but what we've let ourselves become.  Oh, I know, there's good in everyone. I would think every person has helped SOMEONE in their lifetime in some way. But it's still not enough. If it were enough, we wouldn't have so many problems. We are the creators of the problems. And only we can solve the problems.

Sometimes I sit. Sometimes I just sit and think. :) Sometimes I sit and think and fall asleep!

Why are there guestbooks on these things when no one signs them? I feel so unappreciated, so undesirable. Whoa is me. I shant be too upset however. My kingdom is mine alone. Although the gate is closed,  the moat isn't as deep as it looks. Wade my friend. Lift up your pant legs and wade across the water for ye shall soon be knocking upon my gate door and I will tell you, "bring me the broom of the wicked witch!" and away you shall go.

I promise I'm not drinking.

So we'd thought we'd take our moose out and let him run. Nice way to spend a  couple hours on Christmas. I like watching him run free.  He did great until it was time to go. He was almost ready to jump into the back of the truck until he saw some kids playing about 1/2 mile away. Well so much for us! He took off like a bat outta hell. Totally ignored us calling him. He would not even look at us. At first it was ok. Cisco was following the kids sledding down a little mountain. He was having a ball. But after about an hour of calling him and him ignoring us, it got to be a big pain in the ass ya know? He's a smart guy. We told the kids to grab his collar but he'd duck his neck. He wasn't gettin' back in the truck cuz he was having so much fun! I was not. My toes were cold, my nose was cold, and I had a Christmas dinner to start! GRRRRr.

The family finally left and then he still wouldn't get in the back of the truck so we took off and here he is running after the truck. We let him do that for awhile until he knew who was the alpha again...yes, the truck is the alpha. Finally stopped and he hopped his ass back up in that truck and we haven't taken him out yet. He's still grounded

Christmas morning! Good happy joyous Christmas everyone! I feel MUCH better. I have the spirit back, the love is in me and I'm ready to enjoy and celebrate.

Thanks everyone for your comments.

I think that song 'I love rock n' roll so put another dime in the jukebox baby', got me outta my funk! :D

Why is that? Maybe it's the people around me. I feel they aren't happy so I'm not happy. HEY! I should read the title of my blog pages and live by that. I'm trying. It's hard today though.

I used to love Christmas when I was a kid. Who didn't. It just seems like the magic just disappeared. I guess that happens when we get older. I get caught up in so many other things I forget about the true meaning of Christmas. It doesn't matter what we do as long as we remember the true meaning.

I put my decorations out the day after Thanskgiving. I loved doing that this year. But now, here I am, on the verge of tears becuase I'm so sad. Sucks. I'll get over it as it's just a small snag in the holiday.

Maybe I think too much of Christmas' when I was a child or when all the family including the grandparents got together. Now we're wondering what the hell to do tonight. Our huge family went from about 30 people down to 5 and everyone has their problems.

I need my spirit back.

If you don't absolutely love animals, you won't get this post so just stop right now. But if you are like me, a person who  loooooooooooooooves animals, read on.

I think one of the best gifts you are given is when an animal finally trusts you.

When I was younger, and my first husband (the one who bought me that plastic goose), lived in a condo, I went outside to have a smoke one night. It was raining and I happened to glance to my left and there was THE CAT. This orange and white scraggly skinny pathetic looking cat was sitting there with a rope around it's neck....looking at me. This cat was bad looking. It had one eye. The other 'socket' was just that. An oozing mound of nothing.

I put out a bowl of food that night for that cat. And I did the same the second and the third night. That cat stayed around in the background. Days passed and I kept putting that food out. I moved it closer and closer to my front door which I kept open during this process. I'd lay on the floor calling it to me.

One day, he came inside. Sure, he was abrehensive, scared as hell. But he made the move. What a feeling I had! I didn't pounce on him. NONONO. I just let him eat and called him by his name. Roger. Roger, the one eyed cat.

He eventually learned to trust me. He would rub that socket against my chin with nothing in it and gross my husband out.EEEEWWWW. But I felt wonderful. Roger felt wonderful. He felt LOVE. He was the best cat I ever had. He learned to trust me and eventually love me. What a gift he gave me!

Now, many years later, Roger is gone and I've moved on. There is another cat. He's a bob-tail and he comes to my driveway every night at around 6:30 pm. I give him his bowl and heat up milk for him since its snowing. His name is 'Bonkers'. He too, will learn to trust me someday. He will rub his face against mine. I will be patience. He wants to trust me so bad. I'll be patience. He knows I'm a good person. I know he's a good cat. :)

One of my favorite shows is Heroes and my hubby and I were talking about what powers we'd choose if we could. He'd want to fly. I'd want to become invisible. Given the choice, what power would you choose and why? My choice of becoming invisible has changed. It would get me into to  much trouble.

1. invisible

2. fly

3. read minds

4. power to cause pain

5. power to bring back to life

6. strength

7. make money

8. change your appearance

9. breathe underwater

10. boldly go where no man has gone before!

:D 

 I don't understand how my husband can go into Ace hardware and act like he's in Toys R Us. He goes up every single aisle (slowly), looks at every screwdriver and every new tool that comes out. He now wants a cement mixer. Why??? I said 'are you ever going to use a cement mixer'. He said , "probably not but that's not the point'. ok, I get it. It's the fact of being able to tell his buddies that he has a cement mixer. He wants to display it proudly in the garage next to his thingabopper cutter.

We go to garage sales and he buys a tape measure. He must have 20 tape measures! He says before he buys it' "what's one more?". It's one more you won't use dear. No, it's one more to put someplace in case I can't find the other 19. If I happen to buy him the cement mixer for Christmas, he can put all his 20 tape measures in there.

He has enough of that blue masking tape to last a lifetime! He's either planning on doing alot of painting while he's alive or planning on breaking alot of glass objects. Says you can never have enough of that stuff. Uh huh. Use it everyday.

I don't go into the garage much. He told me he'd better not find his things being sold on Ebay. I told him I won't sell what I can't name :)

I was sitting here thinking about something else to buy my husband and started remembering Christmas' past.

When I was married to my first husband I wanted to make a good impression on his neices as we spent Christmas at their house. I was in charge of the shopping and this is when Cabbage Patch Kids first came out. I thought this was the PERFECT gift for my new neice. She was probably about 7 years old. I wrapped that gift with love and couldn't wait for her to open it. Well, Christmas day she ripped into that box and saw that cute lil cabbage patch doll and she said 'This is a joke right?! Where's my real present??'. OMG, I didn't know what to do. My husband just smiled and said 'noooo, thats your gift. Its a cabbage patch doll!'. She threw it to the side and continued opening presents. Siiighh Worst gift I ever gave I guess.

Now, the worst gift I ever received was from my first husband but this is the only gift that was bad during our marriage so don't rag on him. He went out christmas eve like alot of men do. Ended up at a drugstore. I think it was payless or something. Christmas morning there was a very unusual shaped wrapped present for me under the tree. He hands it to me. hmmmm very light. I open it very carefully anticipating what he bought for me. A new purse? nah, bigger than that. A decoration for the house? naah, we have enough of that. What was it? I took all the wrapping off and lo and behold! There in my presence was a white BIG plastic duck planter! WTF??? I said 'It's a plastic duck planter!'. He said 'yea! Do you like it?". Um, I guess. I mean, I didn't want to hurt HIS feelings! He said,' There wasn't much to choose from at the store'. Well, it's christmas eve and you went to payless...ya think??? lol....it's funny NOW. Men, do not buy your wife a plastic duck for Christmas ok? Really. I must add though, he knew I loved gardening and through that in there when he saw my expression. "I got it cuz I knew you loved gardening". uh huh.

So tell me anyone, worst gifts? I'm sure my plastic duck can be topped.

I went on a trip recently and on the plane, I read the book 'The Four Agreements'. Mind you, I am not a reader of many books but I must say, I read this book from beginning to end while in the air and intend on reading it again. It is an EXCELLENT bookl. It is (as the book states) a practical guide to personal freedom. The four agreements are:

1. Be impeccable with your word

2. Don't take anything personally

3. Don't make assumptions

4. Always do your best.

I love the second one the most and it has helped me 'calm down' when I am dealing with a confrontation. When my daughter said I made her physically sick (see my elk dinner post), I was VERY calm about this and didn't take it personally. She made herself sick. Hey, I did my best with that elk which is number 4.

I recommend this book to everyone. Its from Don Miguel Ruiz. If you do read it or have read it, let me know what you thought of it and if you happen to see it being sold on Ebay, buy it! :D

Quite a few years ago I gave my  mom some 'chicken in a biskit' crackers. She hates chicken and loved the crackers until I told her what was in them. She hasn't touched them since. My daughter thought this was funny and brings it up to people now and then saying 'She LOVED the crackers but won't eat them anymore. How ridiculous!'.

Well, the other night, we had elk meat for the first time. Living in Colorado I thought it was about time we tried it. My husband liked it, I thought it was ok. While we were sitting at the table, my daughter says 'I LOVE this meat'. She asked if it was beef and I said 'yes, I just cooked it differently'. She again said 'it's soooo good'. My husband looked at her and said 'its elk'. She made the ugliest face and I said 'nononono it's beef, he's kidding'.

Last night the meat was brought up again and I told her the truth. It was elk. She WAS PISSED. I thought it was funny. She didn't. I told her to 'get over it', and I just wanted her to try the elk. She looked at her stew and said 'is THIS elk?'. No, it was beef. I said 'you liked the steak the other night until you found out it was elk'. She continued being pissed off and got up from the table without finishing her dinner. As she was going upstairs I yelled up at her ', "I guess I won't tell you about the rabbit now!'.

hehe there was no rabbit though and now she wants to be a vegetarian again like we used to be.

I can't believe she's still pissed off about it. GET OVER IT ALREADY