A Poison peek-a-boo to YOU! Now won't you peek-a-boo me too?

more on 'Teen Snooping'

This is a continuation of the last post. I personally think it's a good subject as alot of us have kids.

I clean my daughters room. Alot. She's used to it now. I give her a couple of days to clean it and then I go in there and do a sweep. I find things. Mostly letters to me! I know she writes them when she's pissed off or upset. She talks about how I invade her privacy. How I don't trust her, etc.

Snooping for lack of a better word is a good thing for parents to do. It is our obligation to make sure where,what,who,when and why with our kids. Look at what they have to deal with! I learn alot about my daughter when I clean her room and I will continue to clean her room. I learn that she thought she was going on a date one Friday night but that night I just happened to tell her to stay home. She actually wasn't even upset. I learned alot of her friends have eating disorders AND I learned that she too was heading down that path.

When my son was younger, maybe 10 or so, I learned that he would watch his sister and her friends in her room. I learned he started smoking.

We have to nip these things in the BUTT! or bud! yaya bud! My mom snooped around my room. My grandma probably snooped around my moms room. And I'm sure most of you agree that  this is our right. Now, if I wrote this blog in 'my space'..oh god, I'd be getting some blasting.

btw, good morning!

donsbabydoll
I tell my daughter it's not SNOOPING..but careful observations of things surrounding my visual area!!! She then says..STOP putting her clothes away in the wrong drawers..LOL

oh..and our cell phones are the EXACT same phone...so I'm always "observing" her text messages sent/received!
Jun-26-08 06:13:58 PDT Report this comment
jpsoaps4u
morning poison, yah know my kids are so young right now so I really don't know what I will do when they get bigger.My mom never snooped in my room as a kid, she always talked to me a lot and so did my dad so I always felt comfortable going and talking to one or both of them about anything and everything.Hoping my kids will be the same way with me.
Jun-26-08 06:14:49 PDT Report this comment
ckb2950
The works of a loving mother apple :)
I hope everything works out for the best for your daughter. They will experiement on just about anything.. we have to watch that.
If my daughter thought I was snooping, I would resort to "you'll understand when you have your own kids someday" I would only find notes from her friends, and it would take me back to my own school days. What a joy. I'm the one that picks them up off the floor and saves them for her to read when she gets older.
Jun-26-08 06:19:07 PDT Report this comment
poisonapple2005
jpsoap, I don't know....my daughter would probably think I never snooped in her room either if I didn't tell her I was going in there. Some things are better left unsaid. I talk to my daughter alot also but I want to make sure she's listening :D

And notes!? I don't know where my daughter learned how to say F*ck so many times!!!! not from me..nooooooo hehe
Jun-26-08 06:22:25 PDT Report this comment
ckb2950
They do have a way of making you feel guilty for 'snooping' And some of those times I was caught red-handed. In this situation, how can an adult explain to a child that ur a loving mother, when ur caught being nosey.
Jun-26-08 06:22:53 PDT Report this comment
jpsoaps4u
they might have without me knowing, but i really do doubt it.Every time something serious was happening I pretty much went right to my parents right away asking for their advice so if they did find something it would have been something they already knew about at least lol
Jun-26-08 06:25:00 PDT Report this comment
ckb2950
This is a great topic apple. I love talking about kids. I wish there were more like this.
Jun-26-08 06:28:01 PDT Report this comment
poisonapple2005
thanks ckb! I've been caught read handed before too and I just tell her I'm looking for something. Of course, she says 'its NOT under my mattress!' and I say 'well I've looked everywhere else'..hahaha

good for you jps..thats one way to keep out of trouble.

I think it's a very good thing that we keep our kids on guard. Prince said it in the last blog of mine...his kids never know when they are going to be 'checked'. Keeps them on their toes
Jun-26-08 06:34:18 PDT Report this comment
poisonapple2005
oh and another place I look is in her bathroom in her medicine cabinet. She had MY pills in there. Mind you, they are motrin but still....no medicine in her cabinet! Only band-aids and toothpaste. She can come to me when she needs medicine.
Jun-26-08 06:35:43 PDT Report this comment
prince_of_the_shadows
I usually don't go into any of my boys personal stuff, but they damn-sure know that if I even suspected some funny stuff going on I would tear the place to pieces...

I think coming from a good Christian family of non-smokers and non-drinkers, and with the opportunity to see others in the "extended" family get into lots of trouble with drinking and drugs has given my boys a good perspective on right and wrong...

no guarentees, but so far so good... they are 17 and 16.....
Jun-26-08 06:38:20 PDT Report this comment
courtneydawn.2008
If I may say a few words. As a lawyer I have seen more times than not where parents have not done enough snooping in their teenagers rooms. IT usually lands them in trouble. Not that they are bad just that without guidance they fall in with the wrong group of people and end up doing something they would not have otherwise done. Peer pressure as you remember from your own teen years is ever present. I have two daughters of my own though they are a ways from being teenagers I know I will be snooping umm sorry cleaning their rooms alot. It may just be a dusting once in a while but I will be there. I remember my mother always "cleaning" my already clean room. I think she thought she had an advantage in that I have been deaf since birth and could not hear when she was in there. Strange though for me everthing has its place and I could tell that something wasnt right. No matter how careful you are they are going to know you were in there so why not make it obvious which will at least open up a avenue of communication even if they are " not impressed" at least they know you care.

Courtney
Jun-26-08 06:50:57 PDT Report this comment
classic_chloe
I am the mom of a soon-to-be 21 year-old daughter who is a lifetime Girl Scout. She is an honors student at a well known college here in VA--a junior this fall.

My parents were horrible to me. I cannot describe my living conditions when I was a child without shivering, shaking, tears & such--so I will not...but I will tell you this: I left home at age 17 to support myself. The abuse from my Dad was SOMETHING!
My mom, bless her heart (she is in Heaven now--she died in 1982--I know she thought she was doing her best for me--for us--I have 4 sisters).

Anyway, I came of age in the late 1960s-early 1970s--so she automatically ASSUMED the WORST about EVERYTHING!! And because of that, I was estranged from my parents for a long time--years, it seemed.

We did not have a close relationship until I was in my LATE 20s...and then my parents died not long after!

I became a parent to my ONLY CHILD at age 35.

I DECIDED NOT TO SNOOP! But to BE WIDE OPEN!
To do something really unusual!

We TALK at our house!
About EVERYTHING!
No subject is taboo!
Nothing!
Never has--Never will be!

My daughter started to notice that something strange was going on at her house when she was around 5 years old or so--When she realized that she could come home from kindergarten & REALLY TELL Mommy about her day!
AND...
Mommy would listen without judgment!

My daughter has always been & still is the envy of all of her friends because of our close relationship.
She knows:
1. Her Dad & I love each other.
2. We love her unconditionally.
3. NOTHING she could ever do or say would or could ever stop that love (disappoint maybe--but stop the love? NEVER!)
4. PRIVACY is ESSENTIAL in a Family household, as is,
5. Respect for all the MEMBERS of the FAMILY.
6. We do not Lie, Hit, Steal from, SNOOP, Cheat, Damage or Deliberately HURT any Member of our Family or any of our Friends. It is our CODE. It is our LAW.

My husband & I set that standard right off the
Jun-26-08 06:59:23 PDT Report this comment
classic_chloe
Oh, one more thing...we are not dumb...
While I was raising my child, I was also going to college...
I earned 3 college degrees in those years:

AAS--Associates in Liberal Arts
BS--Bachelor of Science (Social Work major)
MSW--Master of Social Work

So, she also learned to respect & value Education, too!

But we do not SNOOP!

I apologize if I seem like I am going on & on about this--but moms who snoop has long been a real pet peeve of mine, since mine was such an avid snooper--and it hurt me to the core of my very being!
It took years of therapy for me to deal with it!
PLEASE, Snooping Moms, THINK of THAT!!!

Chloe

Chloe
Jun-26-08 07:05:51 PDT Report this comment
poisonapple2005
Chloe, it saddens me that you had a rought childhood but I stand by what I said earlier and I'm speaking only for myself . 'Cleaning' up a room is only to make sure my daughter stays on the right path. She goes to church every sunday, does not do drugs, does not have sex,does not drink. However, when she is at school, peer pressure comes. I don't care how strong someone thinks their child is, peer pressure is just that..PRESSURE. My daughter knows I clean her room and if she doesn't want me to find something, either stay away from it or move it.

I don't care if someone is a doctor, lawyer, or indian chief respectivly...We are all tied in some way and one way is all our kids will or have gotten pressured. We need to be there to make sure they are not steered wrong.
Jun-26-08 11:59:46 PDT Report this comment

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