Have you ever come home from work and found your cat on top of the table?
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Check your eBay account, because that dancing kitty just sniped an auction for something silly. Occasionally cats will bid on serious merchandise, but most of them don't have the mental capabilities to realize the possibilites of online shopping, or to bid on the necessities. Bright shiney things and moving objects distract them easily.

Our market research has shown that 85% of first time feline bidders on eBay, purchase laser pen lights/pointers, and the other 15% play with the cord to the computer and forget why they're on the desk. To take advantage of this phenomenum, sellers should be listing more laser pen lights/pointers, because 80% of the 85% who purchase these particular items, loose them under the refrigerator or dog within the first 30 minutes. They also forget to turn them on, so sell the batteries separately. The cats won't even wonder about that.

Tomorrow, we'll analyze the effect Dr. Seuss has had on the Feline Hat market, unless I decide to bid on a car window and then I won't have time to watch the stupid cat all day to see what he bids on.

Bob Dammit, B.C.M.