- cont'd from last post "What Happened?"

Many times over the past few weeks I have thought about closing my store and crawling into a hole to get away from it all. The pressures of so many, the collecting of unanswered emails, the ignorance of the world still going on around me. I was sinking into my own little corner and looking for a way out. It was because of all you, reading this because you care, that brought me back.

I can never express the appreciation and admiration I have for those of you who have written me, concerned about me, asking if everything was ok. It is you who I have let down and it is you who has pulled me out of my shadow. Those who were not looking for a template maker or html writer, but rather a friend that you knew was not well. I am in awe of the small and simple bond we share and I can never thank you enough for helping me put my life back into perspective.

To think of my life without this creative outlet saddens me. It is a whirlwind of liberation, excitment, inspiration, and enjoyment. To help others is something that I have come to be addicted to. It is a sense of great pride that I feel when another dons their eBay presence with something I have created. I have made so many great friends here. I have become a part of an eBay community here. To let any of you down is just not acceptable.

However, a change has to come. Right now, I'm working out of my home. My husband finally started his new job. Things are starting to look up and everyday I'm getting that much closer to enjoying life again. To making it all fun again.

I promise, with all my heart, that I will get back to each and every one of you who have emailed or messaged me. I pray that God blesses your families with all the love he can bestow upon you and I hope you know that I will be there for you should you ever need me.

I'll be talking to you real soon. - Christy ♥

- cont'd from last post "A Little History"

Everything was going great. I had my 3 jobs and I was having my cake and eating it too. Must all good things come to an end?

It all started to unravel when my work-at-home job started putting a strain on my marriage and my family. I was no longer the one cooking supper, helping with homework, or putting the kids to bed. My weekends began to fill with work and those small simple pleasures of going shopping quickly sank into oblivion. I was shrouded in guilt for not being able to be with my family.

My guilt continued to grow as the months wore on. Meanwhile, my job of 10 years at the time, was taking the hit hard. I no longer felt driven or inspired to work there. All the while my eBay hobby was taking off. I was getting 10 to 15 emails a day inquiring about work. I was packing my schedule full of templates and storefronts and headers. Any spare minute I had between jobs, I was devoting to eBay.

My life was shifting rapidly. A series of events at work led me to believe it was my time to go. I already had intentions of leaving the company this January, but in November, I was forced to leave sooner than anticipated. My job of 11 years, the only job I have ever held, was over. It was something that I found exhilariting and scary all at the same time. I had a back up plan, but that plan was not ready to be implemented. I was left with questions about health care for my child, was I going to lose my home, do we have enough in savings?

The next few weeks were complete chaos. My husband made a career change. My husbands' grandmother had a heart attack and then a quadruple bypass. He was then delayed in beginning his new job. It just seemed that everything was falling apart and my eBay work was now taking the brunt of the blows. I had to change something. . . anything or maybe everything?! I just wasn't sure about what to change or how. There are so many people dependant upon me [from eBay] and I feel this vanquishing desire to please them, to not let them down.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed? Like you just don't have enough hours in the day to accomplish the things you need to do, much less, the things you want to do? My family has suffered because I felt the need to put monetary gain ahead of something so precious as taking my little girl to the mall. I've neglected the simplest of all pleasures; eating supper with my family, shooting hoops in the driveway, helping with homework. That's when I made a harsh decision. To get back to being just . . . well, just me.

I am truly blessed when I think about it. I mean, I have 3 jobs I love. Some people can't even find one job they like and I have three.

I'm a structural steel detailer. I'm not even gonna try and go into what that is, lol, let's just say I draw blueprints for steel. I started this job when I was 20 and now here I am, 11 years later, with the same company who gave me my first start. I love what I do. I'm pretty much my own boss, with my own office, and I work alone. It's good pay and I love the people I worked with. It's just sometimes the work got slow and I needed something to pass the time.

Most of you know that I do eBay for fun. It's just a hobby I started out of that boredom. I really had no intentions of it getting as much attention as it has. It was great 'fun' money and I enjoyed buying myself small gifts with my hobby money. The satisfaction I would feel after completing a project was soo gratifying. To know that I've made someone happier, someone wealthier, some stranger a friend, was more than I could pass up on a part-time basis. So my little hobby began to grow, so much so that it was beginning to take up more than just my 'down' time.

About 2 years ago, my husband and I decided to start building our first home. First, we needed money. I was offered to work at home, creating blueprints, for other companies. The pay was too good to pass up. Within a year we had all of our bills, less two, paid in full. It felt wonderful to have all that weight off our shoulders. In another year, we had a nice down payment to begin building.

Sounds perfect right? Not exactly. Read more in my "What Happened?" excerpt.