DON'T MESS WITH PSYCHO MOM My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face. He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place. "Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright? It's all about the laws today, The 'Children's Bill of Rights.' It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear. I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say, I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray. I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose. I can read & watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe. And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime. I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind. Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use, not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse. Don't preach about your morals, like your Mama did to you. That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too! Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me, or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S.D." Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door. But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more. I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go. A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro. Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store. I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore. I've called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn't care if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs. I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test. The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best." I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch. And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch. Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time. We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine." He asked "Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?" "Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car. I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch instead. The C.S.D. requires just a roof over your head. Your clothing won't be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat. That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat. I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike & roller blades. Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today! Hey hot shot, are you crying, Why are you on your knees? Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D..?" from an anonymous source via email chains...but oh, so true!!!

PSYCHO MOM'S BOOKS BLOG

From that lovely lady who brings you Psycho Mom's Books ( http://www.stores.ebay.com/psycho-moms-books )

When I was younger I often dreamt I could fly. In my dream I'd be able to fly just over the rooftops, swooping down on unsuspecting friends and neighbors. In my dream I was always the only one who could fly and I couldn't fly much higher than the housetops. This always amused me in my waking moments because I'm terrified of heights.

In my 30's I worked in a children's hospital with respiratory therapists -- the people who resusitate you if you stop breathing -- the people who maintain you on a ventilator if you can't breathe for yourself. On any day, we had up to 25 newborns on ventilators and their every breath depended on the respiratory therapists doing a good job running the machine.

One day in a meeting I asked everyone who dreamed they could fly to raise their hands.  Of 15 people, 13 hands shot instantly into the air...I said, truly we must be on to something here. I went on to ask how high they could fly, how fast, did they have to jump out of a high place or just flap their arms and take off. Wow! We had such an animated discussion and we all just assumed that this was a dream that ALL normal people experienced on a regular basis.

A few years later I went to work in a state agency filled with bureaucrats and one day in a staff meeting I asked how many dreamed they could fly...no hands went up. They looked at me like I was an alien being.  I had long said that I felt I was the only risk taker among VERY SERIOUS and VERY CAREFUL people...That day, I knew that I'd proved it!

My theory is: People who are risk takers and passionate about life dream they can fly.

So, tell me...Do you dream you can fly? If you do, what type of flying do you do? High up in the clouds, just over the housetops or just a couple feet off the ground? When you fly, do you flap your arms to take off or jump from a high place? What's the best part of this dream for you? How often do you dream this dream?

Now that we've determined you can fly, how old are you? What is your occupation? Did you dream this more in your youth or when you had a different occupation? (Pilots...your responses really don't count here...)

I know it isn't scientific, but have some fun with this...walk around and work this week and ask people "Do you dream you can fly?" and those who do will instantly want to share their flying stories. Those who don't will want you to go back to the mother ship!

Thanks for your responses! Check out my e-book page where you can get a free cookbook or buy the whole darned 75 book collection for $3.77... http://www.psychomomsbooks.com

 

You've seen it, so have I...one lone shoe on the side of the road. What's that all about? I've tried every possible scenario out and still can't figure out how this happens. If you were walking down the highway and you lost a shoe, wouldn't you notice?

Then I thought, maybe someone was hit by a car and flew out of their shoes...you often hear that mentioned in accident stories....but then I reasoned, there would be hundreds of people walking down the sides of the highways and getting hit by cars, and I just wasn't noticing this and/or reading about it!

How about when people are moving their household and a box falls off the back of the truck....well, then there would be at least TWO shoes and maybe more.

Maybe it is from people who are riding in the back of a car and put their feet out the window...Really tall people who have no leg room in the back of a car...

I've even thought that people might be sucked up by the long vacuum tube of an alien space ship and then one shoe falls off as they are going up the tube...maybe the shoe is purposefully left by the aliens as a marker as where that specimen should be returned.

Speaking of aliens...THE UFO REPORT written by a former member of the Air Forces Blue Book Project is an interesting view of the UFO phenomena. You can download this report from my eBook website at http://www.psychomomsbooks.com 

Check out the site. You can buy the whole 66 eBook collection for $3.77...the cost of a gallon of gasoline! (If not today, then maybe tomorrow!) To purchase Psycho Mom's eBook Collection go to my ebay store and enter ebook in the search. My store is located here: http://stores.ebay.com/psycho-moms-books

Post your comments and let me know why those single shoes are here and there at the side of our nation's highways...or is this a Minnesota kinda deal? ("kinda deal" is our way of saying "thing" --- Haven't you watched FARGO? If not, rent it this weekend. It's hot out and they've got lots of snow in the movie and you'll feel cooler just watching it!)

You can get FREE e-cookbooks from Psycho Mom when you buy a book from me on ebay. Here's some of my favorite recipes from The White House Cookbook  an 1887 cookbook with all the recipes that were the favorites of the who's who of Washington society during the administrations of Presidents Taft, Cleveland and Teddy Roosevelt. 

 

SQUIRREL SOUP.

Wash and quarter three or four good sized squirrels; put them on, with a small tablespoonful of salt, directly after breakfast, in a gallon of cold water. Cover the pot close, and set it on the back part of the stove to simmer gently, not boil. Add vegetables just the same as you do in case of other meat soups in the summer season, but especially good will you find corn, Irish potatoes, tomatoes and Lima beans. Strain the soup through a coarse colander when the meat has boiled to shreds, so as to get rid of the squirrels’ troublesome little bones. Then return to the pot, and after boiling a while longer, thicken with a piece of butter rubbed in flour. Celery and parsley leaves chopped up are also considered an improvement by many. Toast two slices of bread, cut them into dice one-half inch square, fry them in butter, put them into the bottom of your tureen, and then pour the soup boiling hot upon them. Very good.

 

If that's not getting you, try this one:

MOCK TURTLE SOUP, OF CALF’S HEAD.

Scald a well-cleansed calf’s head, remove the brain, tie it up in a cloth, and boil an hour, or until the meat will easily slip from the bone; take out, save the broth; cut it in small square pieces, and throw them into cold water; when cool, put it in a stewpan, and cover with some of the broth; let it boil until quite tender, and set aside.

In another stewpan melt some butter, and in it put a quarter of a pound of lean ham, cut small, with fine herbs to taste; also parsley and one onion; add about a pint of the broth; let it simmer for two hours, and then dredge in a small quantity of flour; now add the remainder of the broth, and a quarter bottle of Madeira or sherry; let all stew quietly for ten minutes and rub it through a medium sieve; add the calf’s head, season with a very little cayenne pepper, a little salt, the juice of one lemon, and, if desired, a quarter teaspoonful pounded mace and a dessert-spoon sugar.

Having previously prepared force meat balls, add them to the soup, and five minutes after serve hot.

 

AND if you have pesky frogs in your yard...keeping you awake all night with the Ribbit-Ribbit-Ribbit crap...

 

FROGS STEWED.

Wash and skin the quarters, parboil them about three minutes, drain them. Now put into a stewpan two ounces of butter. When it is melted, lay in the frogs, and fry about two minutes, stirring them to prevent burning; shake over them a tablespoonful of sifted flour and stir it into them; add a sprig of parsley, a pinch of powdered summer savory, a bay leaf, three slices of onion, salt and pepper, a cup of hot water and one of cream. Boil gently until done; remove the legs, strain and mix into the gravy the yolks of two eggs, well beaten to a cream; put the legs in a suitable dish, pour over the gravy and serve.

 

On a more serious note:

I've sold cookbooks to a number of Katrina Victims in Louisianna and Mississippi (don't you always have to recite it out loud when you spell Mississippi?) and it's been my pleasure to some find their special book...Think about it, they are just now getting their lives back to some order, their houses are getting started, finished, are in process...but they miss the cookbook they got for a wedding present, or the one from the Junior League that had ALL their favorite recipes in it.  We can't give them back the notes in the margins, but we CAN help them find the books they are looking for.

Here's what I'm proposing:

• If you are a Katrina Victim and want to find a specific book, email me and I'll post it here.
• If you are NOT a victim of that evil she-devil Katrina and want to help, look around in your thrift stores, used book stores, etc. and when you find a book on our list, buy it, let me know you have it and I'll put you in touch with the Katrina Victim and the two of you can exchange addresses and get the book to the cook who will be made a little more whole by your gift!
• I don't want to touch the books, or have anyone think that I could possibly benefit from this...I just want to do the little that I can do (and YOU, too!) to help people who have just been SO BEAT UP!! Contact me at susanlapakko@comcast.net