Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog.  They sell Poop Art.  They can't tell you that they are selling Poop Art right now because it's illegal to promote individual items on the blog, and Luna and Bethel like to follow rules.

Luna and Bethel complimented Gadget_kat yesterday on their blog because Gadget_kat did a nice thing on Sunday.  Then Luna and Bethel made the mistake of saying that they wouldn't be against the idea of complimenting anybody who outbid Gadget_kat on their Poop Art, and the compliment post wasn't cold before Salesbygetridofit! had pulled ahead in the Poop Art war.  This will be Luna and Bethel's THIRD COMPLIMENT POST in THREE DAYS.  Luna and Bethel are feeling a little bloated with sweetness and they really need the purge of a complaint post, but here goes....

Salesbygetridofit! is a very fine blogger that Luna and Bethel know on eBay.  Salesbygetridofit! sells Barbies, and Luna wanted to buy Bob Mackie Moon Goddess Barbie from Salesbygetridofit!, but was never able to afford it because Poop Art is a dirty and gritty business where the rewards aren't high.  The rewards also weren't high in the blogging contest, at least not for Luna and Bethel.  Hmmph.

Now Luna and Bethel have searched their brains and searched their brains for one thing Salesbygetridofit! has done on the blogs that is 1/10th as nice as the things Gadget_kat does on the blogs, but they have come up dry so far.....WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There is this....

One night Luna and Bethel must have looked hungry on their blog, and Salesbygetridofit! sent Salesbygetridofit!'s very own special Kelly Jelly to Luna and Bethel!  It was in a lovely decorated box that Salesbygetridofit! had decorated with eBay drawings and party fun!  Luna and Bethel don't have the box anymore to take a picture of, they must have shipped one of their eBay sales in it.  This jelly is strawberry jelly, and Luna and Bethel can personally tell you that it is delicious and that they are going to run out of it soon.  Luna and Bethel would still like to know who this Kelly person is, but they are telling you now that Salesbygetridofit! did a very nice thing and sent Luna and Bethel jelly when Luna and Bethel were hungry and needed some jelly to eat so they wouldn't have to eat a cat or their own boring old dinners.  Now, Salesbygetridofit! didn't make the placemat, that was one of the secretaries, but Salesbygetridofit! made the jelly in the jar, and as far as Luna and Bethel know, Salesbygetridofit! might have blown the glass for the jar in The Salesbygetridofit! eBay Compound in Las Vegas where Salesbygetridofit! lives.  So please join Luna and Bethel in saluting Salesbygetridofit! 

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog.  They sell Poop Art.  They have new Poop Art for sale right now, but they can't talk about it because that would be promoting an individual item.  Since it is the only item Luna and Bethel are selling right now, they don't know what to doo!

Luna and Bethel would like to talk about Gadget_kat today.  Yesterday, a blogger asked for 20 people to say "Hi" on her blog.  This blogger's husband had bet that 20 people wouldn't say "Hi" because all bloggers would be busy watching football and not blogging.  This blogger's husband said that he would take his blogger wife out to dinner if 20 people said "Hi", but he was confident that he could continue staying at home because he thought his wife would lose the bet.  Now, when Luna and Bethel saw this blog, it was off the front page.  They said "Hi", but they thought that the husband was going to win and get to stay at home and probably be in his underwear and watch football himself because fewer and fewer bloggers were going to see this post.  But NOOOOOOO!  Gadget_kat saw it and Gadget-kat got to work and Gadget_kat made a post telling people that they needed to go back and say "Hi!"  People did!  The blogger won the bet with her husband, and she came back later to say she had a nice dinner!  Gadget_kat and Freckles do an awful lot of good things on the blogs, and feeding that hungry blogger was just one of them.  Luna and Bethel have tried to make this compliment post as long as they possibly could, because Gadget_kat is going to say this post isn't as long as their complaint posts.  Luna and Bethel know their complaint posts are long, but it's fun to complain, so that's the way the complaint posts will continue to be, and Gadget_kat can just keep Gadget_kat's opinions concerning Luna and Bethel's compliment posts as opposed to Luna and Bethel's complaint posts to Gadget_kat's self.  Luna and Bethel roll on their backs and salute Gadget_kat and Gadget_kat's Beagle friend Freckles The Beagle with all four paws!  (Please excuse the fact that Luna and Bethel are forced to flash their privates when they do this.)

P.S. 

This post is in no way related to the fact that Gadget_kat is winning Luna and Bethel's latest piece of Poop Art.  But Luna and Bethel certainly don't rule out the idea of writing good posts about anyone who should pull ahead of Gadget_kat in the bidding.  

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog.  They sell poop art.  They understand that they can't promote individual items on the blogs, so they can't tell you they are selling one item, and that it's new Poop Art.

Luna and Bethel got something in the mail!  Well, they didn't get it, the secretary got it.  The package was nicely packaged and it delivered itself very quickly indeed!  Inside of the package was a good CD by a band called Sauce!  It makes Luna and Bethel trot around the house very fast, and it reminds the secretary of a wild, misspent, and extremely enjoyable youth where the men had a lot more hair than the women.  A driving heavy metal beat!  Hot guitar licks!  Some dirty words!  Luna and Bethel and their secretary thank Bassreddog for this highly enjoyable CD, and they will check with Bassreddog FIRST when they need new music!  Thank you Bassreddog!

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog.  They sell their poop art on eBay, but would eventually like to spread their poop to all sales venues.

Luna and Bethel would first like to say that they hope everybody is OK after yesterday's crazy blogging.  They hope that people will calm down and stop fighting and that nobody will stop blogging.  And they hope that all future fights will continue to feature Poop Art because if Luna and Bethel can't get positive attention, negative attention will doo!  With that said, keep an eye out for Luna and Bethel's latest poop art!  It will reflect recent events in the news and yet still be cheery and holiday-like!

Luna and Bethel celebrated Halloween early last night by watching Halloween TV!  They settled down with the secretaries and popcorn and Sugar Babies to watch what all Americans watch to celebrate the holiday that is the Festival of Candy and Horror! CHARLIE BROWN!!!!!!!!! 

Charlie Brown got invited to a Halloween party because lists were shuffled and mistakes were made.  Luna and Bethel feel that the government must have been in charge of invitations to Violet's party.  Charlie Brown went trick or treating with his friends before the party, and Charlie Brown's costume was a Dalmation costume!  Charlie Brown got Poop Art from the houses he trick or treated, but Charlie Brown was stupid and he thought the Poop Art was rocks.  Now, of course the real star of the Charlie Brown is Snoopy, Boyfriend of Freckles (Freckles belongs to Gadget_kat).  Luna and Bethel had forgotten that Snoopy is by far the best part of that show, and they can certainly understand why Freckles would want to date him.  Snoopy is a handsome fighter pilot and the only person in Charlie Brown World who isn't boring like Jello with no fruit flavoring.  Linus and Sally were stupid and they waited for The Great Pumpkin instead of going to houses to get candy and cookies and money and Poop Art.  Everybody knows that The Great Pumpkin is cheap and won't leave anything but little pumpkins that he poops and is too lazy to decorate.  Then, Peppermint Patty and Marcie realized that zombies had broken down the fence that was defending the city!  Peppermint Patty and Marcie got into their tank and rushed to the city to kill the zombies, but the zombies were already eating Charlie Brown and his friends.  Peppermint Patty and Marcie managed to kill ALL of the zombies with one brief barrage of ACKACKACKACK gunfire, which Luna and Bethel didn't understand because if Peppermint Patty and Marcie could do that, why didn't they do that BEFORE the zombies attacked and ate so many Charles Schultz characters?!  Luna and Bethel really wish that George Romero had been more careful before he made Charlie Brown of The Dead.  It looks like having a big budget really went to George's head.         

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog and sometimes they sell on eBay, but they aren't touching the saturated 20 cent listing fee market with a ten foot leash right now.

Luna and Bethel have been blogging and blogging.  Fat lot of good it has done them, since they haven't won any eBay gift certificates.  Maybe in the 6th Round of The Contest, huh?  Luna and Bethel have enjoyed blogging, in spite of eBay's cruel refusal to give them free money, but Luna and Bethel have become aware that there can be danger apaw in the blogs.  The danger is especially dangerous right now, and Luna and Bethel are going to tell you about Blog Danger, whether you like it or not. 

#1 Blog Danger

Some blogger who doesn't know as many tricks as Luna and Bethel might come in here and read something they don't like and say something Luna and Bethel don't like, so Luna and Bethel will have to tell that person, "Dear Person, kiss Luna and Bethel's Rush Limbaughs, Love Luna and Bethel."  You may use Luna and Bethel's technique, if you find yourself in a similar situation, but be sure you say "Rush Limbaugh," because that is the most offensive thing to say.  

#2 Blog Danger

Some blogger might post a blog that says he or she would like to live in a theocracy based on the Old Testament, which makes no sense to Luna and Bethel because that person will sometimes also say things like, "America is the greatest country!"  Now, Luna and Bethel like to talk to these people in their blogs, and Luna and Bethel try to be nice about it and usually the bloggers are nice back, but there is danger there that the people will tell Luna and Bethel to kiss THEIR Rush Limbaughs.  Luna and Bethel recommend commenting in blogs like that only if you are prepared to be Rush Limbaughed yourself.  

#3 Blog Danger

A few (very few, but a few) contest winners seem to be very sad and vulnerable right now.  They must be handled with care. If you say the wrong thing, they will go away and make you look like a poop monster or a vacuum cleaner for making them go away.  Luna and Bethel don't really get this, not being contest winners themselves.  Perhaps these winners want to be alone to play with the Moon Goddess Bob Mackie Barbies they won.  Tread lightly around these bloggers.  Luna and Bethel think there must be a downside to winning money that Luna and Bethel have never had the poor luck to experience themselves.

#4 and Weirdest Blog Danger

The weirdest danger than Luna and Bethel are finding is bloggers who might take Luna and Bethel's comments and make a whole new blog post about Luna and Bethel's comments that could make Luna and Bethel look like rabid vicious wild dogs who pee on nice new carpets!  (OK, Luna and Bethel did pee on the nice new carpet, but they have had their rabies shots.)  Now Luna and Bethel happen to think that even negative attention is good, but you might not feel the same way and you might want to avoid being the subject of such posts.  The best way to be safe is to not comment, especially on the blog of someone who is your good blog friend, as far as Luna and Bethel can tell.  But, if you must comment, here is Luna and Bethel's best comment for commenting on the blogs of those who might make you the subject of a "Look At This Poop Blogger's Poop Comment!" post...  "Dear My Good Blog Friend, Luna and Bethel have come cautiously into your blog and they would like to say to you :)!  Luna and Bethel love you and Luna and Bethel want you to sit right here and be just as unhappy as you want to be, so Luna and Bethel aren't going to give you any advice or support because Luna and Bethel sure don't want you to be kicking our Rush Limbaughs later in another post! :)!"  

OK.  Now Luna and Bethel are going to sit back and see if they get Rush Limbaughed.   

Luna and Bethel, my toy fox terriers, blog and sell things on eBay.  Luna and Bethel are glad for their friends who won the contest.

Luna and Bethel Aren't Really Reviewing Lost and Jericho This Week.  If You Have A Problem With That, Please Contact the Networks And Ask Them To Make Something Happen On Those Shows

Luna and Bethel Review Top Chef

Luna and Bethel are only watching Top Chef because Project Runway isn't on right now.  They were forced to watch Top Chef last season as well.  At least Top Chef got rid of the hostess from last season.  She was No Personality Dumb-Sounding Brunette Barbie.  Luna and Bethel wouldn't bother chewing her up and pooping her out because nobody wants Sleeping Pill Miracle Whip Poop Art.  However, Luna and Bethel have been disappointed to find that Bimbettes don't have to be American.  Welcome the new hostess, No Personality Dumb-Sounding Latin-Or-Something Barbie. 

This week on Top Chef, all of the Bad Skin Dr. Seuss Hair Contestants gathered together to vomit, steal, and make bad food.  The show hadn't been on for fifteen minutes before Luna and Bethel were staggering around on the sofa sick as dogs.  Good lord!  Vomiting?  VOMITING?  On a cooking show, VOMITING????  Sorry.  Was it too early for that?  Luna and Bethel won't apologize too much because it is much easier on the stomach than the sentence Luna and Bethel erased, trust Luna and Bethel.  Otto and his bad skin and Dr. Seuss hair got kicked off for stealing, which left the rest of the pockmarked Whos to carry on without him.  However will they go on?  Hmmm?  How?  Hard to care, isn't it?

The problem with Top Chef in general is that Top Chef shows food that even Luna and Bethel wouldn't eat.  Top Chef is the most unhungrymaking cooking show ever created!  Top Chef will cure famine in Luna and Bethel's lifetime because Top Chef will make the world forget that food is good and famine won't seem like such a bad thing!  Luna and Bethel would rather turn off the TV and let the secretaries cut Luna and Bethel's nails instead of watching Top Chef, but Luna and Bethel keep watching because they have some slim hope that the cooks will kill and eat each other before the end of the season. 

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog.  Sometimes they sell their Poop Art on eBay.  Today, they are hot under their collars!

Luna and Bethel don't like to complain, but they maybe do like it a little bit so they are going to do it here.  Luna and Bethel have decided to do all of their Halloween shopping on eBay this year!  They have ordered 5 Spirit of Dead Wolf Trapped In Gerber Baby Food Jars.  They have ordered a Dorito Shaped Like Fetal Godzilla (the only one on eBay!).  Their problem is that they haven't received most of these items yet.  They like to think that maybe the sellers or their families are dying or dead, so that is why Luna and Bethel haven't received their items yet.  It has been 2 hours and 46 minutes since Luna and Bethel placed their orders, but no items! 

Well, one item came.  It was The Spirit of Dead Wolf Trapped in Gerber Baby Food Jar (Strained Peas).  Luna and Bethel would like to say that this seller is a good seller, but he is not.  There was a problem with Luna and Bethel's order.  Luna and Bethel are tapping their paws with annoyance.  Tap tap.  Tap tap tap.  Luna and Bethel don't like to complain, but they maybe do like it a little bit, so they are going to do it here.  Luna and Bethel paid for insurance, and there was no insurance in their box!  

Please do not tell Luna and Bethel to contact their sellers.  Luna and Bethel won't do that.  Luna and Bethel would rather just complain and make all eBay sellers look like poop. 

Luna and Bethel are toy fox terriers.  They blog.  They sell on eBay.  If you prick them, do they not yelp?

Luna and Bethel are feeling sentimental because the secretary is feeling snotty and yuck.  Yesterday on the blogs somebody was asking for bloggers to say what they like and what they hate and who they would like to thank.  Luna and Bethel nearly commented, but then they thought they would rather do their own post. 

Luna and Bethel started blogging because eBay told Luna and Bethel that there was a contest!  Luna and Bethel wanted to write and tell everybody how to do their eBay businesses and win a Moon Goddess Bob Mackie Barbie for doing it!  We've all seen how that turned out.  Hmmph.  But here Luna and Bethel still are.  Luna and Bethel have found blogging to be interesting because it doesn't happen in a vacuum.  (Luna and Bethel HATE the vacuum, incidentally.  It wants to suck Luna and Bethel up, Luna and Bethel just know it!)  On the internet, it is hard for Luna and Bethel to know who they are talking to.  Likewise, people don't know Luna and Bethel.  Bloggers might think they know Luna and Bethel, but Luna and Bethel have many secrets.  For example, Luna likes to hump the acorns out of her squirrel puppet.  Luna takes it under the sofa and humps squirrel and humps squirrel and humps squirrel!  Humps it!  Bethel wants a red BMW convertible.  Those are things their blogging friends didn't know about Luna and Bethel until right now.  Luna and Bethel don't know who they are buying from or selling to on eBay a lot of times, either.  But eBay is right, most of those people have been good and nice even when they are very different people from Luna and Bethel, although a few have been pains in the poop machines.

Luna and Bethel do think they know some of their blog friends now.  You are all toy fox terriers, right?  Although Luna and Bethel could be wrong.  Everybody could all be cats, not just Stanley.  But, cats or dogs, Luna and Bethel would like to thank their blogging friends for being friendly to them, even though Luna and Bethel are different from about 90% of the rest of the bloggers.  Luna and Bethel will not name their friends' names because they might leave someone out, but of course the BEST friends are friends who have bid on Poop Art, and you know who you are!  Everybody else is sort of OK, too!

Picture of Luna with Bethel in blogging disguise

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They love to blog and sell on eBay, but eBay does not love their blogging or their Poop Art.

Luna and Bethel have yet another gripe with eBay.  First eBay does not give Luna and Bethel prizes so they can buy Moon Goddess Barbie from salesbygetridofit!  Luna and Bethel have been bummed about that, let them tell you.  Now, Live Help isn't helping Luna and Bethel!  What the heck is Live Help for if they won't help?

Excerpts from transcript of Luna and Bethel's conversation with Live Help (keep in mind that they talked to Live Help yesterday about the first pumpkin that showed up here)-

Luna and Bethel:  Hello, Live Help, please help Luna and Bethel.  The pumpkin our secretary carved and ruined and didn't make into a pie for Luna and Bethel is scaring Luna and Bethel!

Live Help:  I'm not sure what you want, Lune and Ethel.  Live Help Chat is for problems you might be having with eBay.

Luna and Bethel:  We talked to you yesterday about the other pumpkin, and you didn't help then, either!  If you look at our blog yesterday, you will see ANOTHER pumpkin we already asked you to help us with!  Live Help, please come and take this thing out of Luna and Bethel's house!

Live Help:  I'm sorry, we don't go to the houses of members.  Thank you for using eBay, Lune and Ethel!

Luna and Bethel are very annoyed and they are no longer sure exactly what Live Help is for.  If you decide to come to Luna and Bethel's house to steal something, please steal THIS and the other pumpkin, too (see yesterday's blog). 

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They love to blog and sell on eBay, but eBay does not love their blogging or their Poop Art.

Luna and Bethel have yet another gripe with eBay.  First eBay does not give Luna and Bethel prizes so they can buy Moon Goddess Barbie from salesbygetridofit!  Luna and Bethel have been bummed about that, let them tell you.  Now, Live Help isn't helping Luna and Bethel!  What the heck is Live Help for if they won't help?

Excerpts from transcript of Luna and Bethel's conversation with Live Help-

Luna and Bethel:  Hello, Live Help, please help Luna and Bethel.  The pumpkin our secretary's secretary carved and ruined and didn't make into a pie for Luna and Bethel is scaring Luna and Bethel!

Live Help:  I'm not sure what you want, Lune and Ethel.  Live Help Chat is for problems you might be having with eBay.

Luna and Bethel:  Live Help, please come and take this thing out of Luna and Bethel's house!

Live Help:  I'm sorry, we don't go to the houses of members.  Thank you for using eBay, Lune and Ethel!

Luna and Bethel are very annoyed and they are no longer sure exactly what Live Help is for.  If you decide to come to Luna and Bethel's house to steal something, please steal THIS.

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog.  They sometimes sell their Poop Art on eBay, but business stinks lately.

Ah, Luna and Bethel wish everyone a good morning!  Luna and Bethel have a phone this morning, so they can blog!  They hope all of their friends have nice weekend plans!  Luna and Bethel do not because their motivated secretary will probably force the blogging secretary to clean and do yard work.  Sigh.  Bethel talked Luna into adding some Spam to the blogs this morning because Bethel has noticed that Spam is something a lot of people talk about and she wants attention.  And she is hoping people will get mad at Luna!

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog.  They sell Poop Art when the creative urge strikes them.

Luna and Bethel are sure that all bloggers will be glad to know that Luna and Bethel aren't having a pity party today!  That is done.  Pity party supplies were provided by VERIZON!  The company that takes Luna and Bethel's Poop Art money and gives poop phone service in return!  Luna and Bethel's phone wasn't working when it rained, and it rained again last night and this morning, so Luna and Bethel are about 5 hours late with their daily blog.  Luna and Bethel just got their phone service back (well over a week after they first reported their trouble) thanks to a fine, bear-looking Verizon technician who originally hails from NC, where Luna and Bethel hope to move, so Luna and Bethel are hoping that was a good omen.

Luna and Bethel would like to boast and brag in an unseemly manner today.  Luna and Bethel don't know if anybody noticed, but a certain item they were selling is gone.  It is gone because the auction ended.  Now, nobody bid, nobody bid, for days nobody bid.  Luna and Bethel had to wonder if it was because there was no Poop Art that came free with the item.  Then, 30 minutes before the auction ended, some kind of pain in the poop machine person emailed to offer $25 less than Luna and Bethel wanted for their item.  Now, Luna and Bethel are certainly reasonable.  OK, they really aren't reasonable.  If Luna and Bethel wanted to play "Let's Make A Deal," they would dress up like boxes of tampons and try to guess which curtain Monty Hall hid the goat behind.  (Anybody besides Luna and Bethel remember "Let's Make A Deal?"  Well, actually Luna and Bethel don't remember it, the secretary remembers it.)  Now, Luna and Bethel wouldn't have sold the item to the person who made the offer anyway because that is against eBay rules and Luna and Bethel really believe in eBay rules (admittedly the only rules in life that Luna and Bethel follow).  But the offer made them wonder if they'd started the bidding too high.  Luna and Bethel started to wonder if they would be laid low by their greed.  However, it was silly of Luna and Bethel to doubt themselves...they got what they wanted for the item!  HA!  Anyone who would like to guess what Luna and Bethel paid for their item is welcome to guess!  Now, the item sold for ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS.  When you guess your guess, keep in mind that Luna and Bethel are your daddy!  And they are cheap, as well, so there won't be a prize if you guess right!      

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog, they sell things on eBay (mainly Poop Art) and, like all good Americans, they watch a lot of TV!

Luna and Bethel watched Jericho, Lost, and Project Runway on Wednesday night.  What a big night of TV! 

Jericho Review by Luna and Bethel

People in Jericho are stupid, and Luna and Bethel are tired of it.  Why do the people in Jericho watch the same boring TV show all of the time?  Luna and Bethel are starting to feel like they are in Jericho themselves, watching that boring TV show with the people in the bar.

Lost Review by Luna and Bethel

Luna and Bethel feel asleep during Lost, but that might have just been Luna and Bethel having a flashback.

PROJECT RUNWAY REVIEW BY LUNA AND BETHEL!!!!

The first thing that Luna and Bethel need to say about Project Runway is HA HA! Jeffrey didn't cheat, Laura was wrong! She just said it so Jeffrey would cry!  Laura seems to have eaten more children since last week, but the super powers she thinks that eating children gives her ARE NOT REAL!  LAURA HATES DOGS, AND SHE LOST!  The judges said, "Your clothes are old lady clothes!  Take them to a nursing home and sell them out of the trunk of your car!  Now here is a woodsman to cut you open with an ax and let out the children you ate!"

Michael lost too.  That was sad because he is nice and likes dogs and has metal teeth.  Luna and Bethel have to admit that Michael's clothes were not nice this week.  You know when somebody wants puppies and says, "I will pay your dog to sleep with my dog."?  Well, that is what Michael's clothes were like, the clothes that the dog who gets paid for the sex wears.

Ule lost.  Ule's clothes were very nice this time, but Luna and Bethel feel like Ule lost because she is German and because she is actually a baby parrot.

Jeffrey won!  Luna and Bethel confess that Jeffrey is Luna and Bethel's favorite.  He was the contestant who is most like their own beloved secretary!  Jeffrey isn't ashamed to make Poop.  Jeffrey isn't ashamed to say, "I am of the gutter!"  But, Luna and Bethel honestly think that Jeffrey beat Ule because the judges felt sorry for him and wanted to give him money so he can cure his neck skin disease.

Next week Luna and Bethel will be reviewing...Top Chef! 

Luna and Bethel haven't been around for two mornings.  I bet you hoped that Luna and Bethel had stopped blogging because the contest is over, right?  HA!  NO!  Luna and Bethel are staying right where they are!

Luna and Bethel couldn't blog because VERIZON, the company that pretends to provide telephone service to Luna and Bethel, wasn't even pretending to give Luna and Bethel service for a day and a half.  See, Luna and Bethel are now losing their dial tone when it rains.  Yesterday, the secretary fell down in the rain when the secretary was going to get the cell phone from the car to report the dead phone, and the secretary laid out in the rain for a while with a twisted ankle wondering if the other secretary would wake up sometime soon and perhaps come outside and rescue Injured Secretary.  Finally, Injured Secretary managed to get back into the house.  Boy, was the secretary glad that emergency services weren't required, because Luna and Bethel didn't have a PHONE in the house!  Because the technician never comes on the day it rains, in fact the technician doesn't even come on the day when Verizon PROMISED he would come, Luna and Bethel think they are just going to never have a phone when it rains ever again.  Isn't that nice?  Only when the ground dries out do Luna and Bethel get to have phone service.  So Luna and Bethel are going to call a state regulatory agency in hopes of getting some help.  They would even be willing to slip those people some Poop Art as a bribe if they would help.  But what Luna and Bethel really want to do is leave Maryland.  Except they have managed to hire an incompetant Maryland realtor who can't sell their house.  It's just as well because the carpet that the incompetant Maryland carpet guy laid doesn't look so good and the cars that have been in the hands of incompetant Maryland mechanics probably wouldn't make it over the state line, anyhow.

Bethel and Luna don't think that a lot of their friends are blogging right now, but they are going to post this anyhow.  So their friends will know where they in case it rains tonight.  Please wish good phone wishes for Bethel and Luna.     

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog.  They sell Poop Art and stuff on eBay.

Luna and Bethel are sorry to be a little late with their post today!  Luna and Bethel have been so busy picking out things for Boo and Spot that they were late making their entry!  They just realized that it would be funny if Boo and Spot would change their names to Poo and Pot!  Would you please consider doing that just for Luna and Bethel?  Here is a sneak preview of one of the things that will be in the box!  Poo and Pot, Luna and Bethel hope that this whets your big dog appetites!

Luna and Bethel, my toy fox terriers, blog and sell on eBay.  Just try to stop them.  I certainly can't.  Now they feel they have finally arrived because their names are in a Police Report as well!

Luna, famous Poop Artist, was arrested in Western Maryland Saturday afternoon for disorderly blog conduct.  Apparently the trouble began when Luna, normally a solid and sober young artist, rolled in purple poop (possibly deer poop) in the field behind her house.  The deer poop caused Luna to lapse into a state of drunken euphoria.  She refused to come when called.  She hid under parked automobiles.  She flashed several Maryland State Troopers (she also referred to them as "Poopers").  Then Luna ran into the house, got onto the internet, and started annoying her fellow eBay bloggers as much as she possibly could.  Luna started her reign of blog terror by tricking new bloggers into sending her their email addresses (Luna is going to sell those addresses to the Cheetos corporation).  Next, she spammed the blogs (because she enjoys a certain amount of poopularity, Luna feels that it's fine for HER to spam, keeping the same three posts on the board for hours and hours and hours).  Then, Luna declared that she was leaving Blogland forever... only to return when nice people who didn't know what the heck was going on begged her to come back (Luna left and returned 65 times in a 30 minute time period).  If you look for evidence of any of this activity, you won't find it because Luna deleted it.

Luna's punishment was 15 miserable minutes in the bathtub.  Bethel, Luna's agent, was contacted for a statement and replied, "Bethel says Luna didn't do it.  Bethel says you are all liars.  Bethel says to be sure to watch for Bethel's tell-all book, Rollin' In The Poop-The Nightmare That Is Life With Luna ." 

Luna's Mug Shot (courtesy of thesmokinggun.com)

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers. They blog. They used to sell their Poop Art on eBay, but it was causing too many fights between the bloggers who needed it.

Luna and Bethel are annoyed because there is some meat in the house and they can't eat it. Yesterday the secretaries went to a store together, and they were supposed to get meat for Luna and Bethel, but this is the meat the secretaries came back with. The crazy secretary who types the blog for Luna and Bethel is always bringing crazy things home, and this secretary claims this meat is COLLECTIBLE meat and that it will be worth more real meat in the future than it is worth today. Luna and Bethel think that it would be worth more right now if they could turn it into Poop Art.

Congratulations to Boo and Spot!  Poop Art Mystery Auction Winners!!!!!!

Luna and Bethel the toy fox terriers are sad that they weren't able to blog with their friends yesterday morning.  Congratulations to their friends who won the contest!

Luna and Bethel haven't been able to blog very well lately.  They couldn't blog at all most of the day yesterday.  It's because their telephone service provider is VERIZON.  Verizon features substandard equipment and service!  Yay!  Verizon features lying service representatives!  Yay!  If you would like to waste a day or two or five, make an appointment with a Verizon repair technician!  If he ever comes, he will break your neighbor's phone while he is at your house!  (That is how Luna and Bethel's phone got broken, a technician came to fix their neighbor's phone.)

This is Luna and Bethel's Big Valentine To Verizon!!!!

IF YOU ARE THE WINNER OF LUNA AND BETHEL'S MYSTERY AUCTION TOMORROW AND DON'T HEAR FROM THEM, HANG TIGHT!  LUNA AND BETHEL ARE HAVING PHONE TROUBLE ON AND OFF AND CAN'T ALWAYS GET ONLINE.  THEY WILL CONTACT YOU ASAP!

Luna and Bethel are my toy fox terriers.  They blog.  They sell Poop Art now and then.

Luna and Bethel watched Project Runway the other night!  They would have blogged about it earlier, but VERIZON BROKE THEIR PHONE and they couldn't get on the internet.

So Project Runway was a lot about Poop the other night, which Luna and Bethel would have normally loved.  First, Laura showed Tim the children that she lured into a trap with some candy and took home so she can eat them later.  Laura claims she gave birth to that herd of children, but she can't fool Luna and Bethel because they saw her husband.  The husband is Einstein, who is dead and can't make children at the present time.  One of those poor captive children tried to share his turtle poop with Tim.  That is all Laura gives those children to eat so she can eat everything in the house and get fat and pretend she is pregnant.

Then, Laura and Ule and Michael showed Tim some poop, but it was like Poop Art.  It wasn't real poop, it was just the clothes they made.

Jeffrey's clothes weren't poop, but Wicked Laura said, "Those are too good, Jeffrey cheated, I win!"  Will anybody foolishly believe her?  Luna and Bethel have to wait until next week to find out!  Poop!