Working in my card & gift shop, I have just received my first unusual request of the day.

Customer " Do have any 'Happy Birthday to my Brother on your Leap Year cards?'"

Me "Sorry just sold out of my last one."

Customer " It looks like we only got a choice of one in the whole town ! You'd think there would be a large selection available, someone could make a fortune."

Me to myself " Yes, they would make  about £10 in a  million years."

This is a joke I thought of and wondered how long it will be before I hear it, either told me or on the TV.

I was driving on the motorway, with my wife in the passenger seat and my brother in the back seat.

I was overtaken by a woman driver who cut in rather sharp then immediately did an emergency stop. I braked as hard as possible, blew my horn and shouted out "You OLD WITCH !"

As I said it, my phone burst into life and seconds later my wifes phone started ringing. (Voice activation at its worst)

My wife asked with a scowl  "How come your phone has called me ?"

Oh! Thats must have been when I blew the horn, I must have pressed  Number One on my speed dial on my steering wheel, because you are my number one!" I lie convincingly.

My wife sighs and says " Oh MY LOVER you are so sweet."

Suddenly her phone bursts into life and then my brothers phone starts ringing.

I wonder why?

My shop sells lots of gifts and cards, pretty similar to most gift shops. I've just had a chap walk in, whilst I was on the phone, and place a pair of shoes on the counter. I let him look around for a little while, whilst finishing my conversation.

I asked "Can I help?"

"Yes, I'd like these shoes soled & healed please." He requests.

"Does this look like a cobblers?" I ask.

"Er not really, don't you do them then?" he continued.

"No, try the cobblers down the road, they might be able to help." I reply.

"Huh, thanks a lot." he retorts and storms off.

Did anyone watch Raines last night on ITV3?

I enjoyed it but, the background music is so annoying. It is probably my age, I can't hear those damn Mosquitos anymore.

It's cold, damp and quiet in the shop today.Would you go shopping on a day like this?

I'm looking forward to the Liverpool game tonight, I hope they win. We used to get into that cup many years ago,(NFFC).

Thanks for looking.

Cheers Bob.

Well I was framing customer pictures from 9 o'clock until half past five. I thought Sunday was a day of rest?

I though it had started  well, but unfortunately I mixed to virtually identical orders up. Two men, very alike, were quite particular in the way they wanted their pictures framing (which is fine). They both wanted the mount to leave a fraction of the original border showing. When I framed the first one, I looked at my advice slip and was surprised the I had written that the customer wanted an Ivory border, 1.5" wide. But as I take quite few orders, I thought to myself, well it must be right, because I've written it down. So I framed it. Then in the afternoon, I started on the other chaps framing. It then sunk in, I had framed the earlier two pictures wrong. So I had to re-do them. Great absolutely Great !!!

Still I managed to do them correctly, wasted some time and materials, but it could been worse, I could support Liverpool.

Today back in the shop, paying bills listening to customers. One chap came in this morning, talked about his holidays, the goverment, immigrants, local councils and the route of a bus that has been re-directed past his house. Then promptly left without buying a thing.

I went outside to see if someone had put a sign up for the Citizens Advice Bureau outside.

Cheers Bob