i am about to scream.

wow...you may have to take this situation a step futher and have her dr. declare her not competant to take care of her self. That would give you the right to have her moved.

what is her reason for not going to get help? She knows this is not normal, even at her age.

that is a hard call! perhaps tell her a white lie like go for a ride, or call for an amublance. My hubby had to physically put his mom in the car years ago and that was a hard thing for him to do

I'm sorry you have through this! Maybe she wants to be you when God decides to take her home but there is only so much you can take. Wish there was an easy answer for you. I wish you the best.

I have been through this. Has her doctor made any mention of hospice in home assistance?

We went thru this last summer and unfortunately John passed away two weeks ago. Its sad to watch them go. You may want to check for pneumonia (watch for labored breathing). If that is the case go ahead and call the ambulance and have her go to the ER. Please be patient now with them because their time may be close at hand. Hope this was helpful. Peace.

Home health care and hospice is certainly the way to go in a situation like this. I am so sorry, this must be terribly stressful for you!

Ok..this is hard but I will try.

Each and every one of us will face our end one way or another. If her time is approaching, how do you think she wishes to spend her last days? Is she avoiding going to the doctor and/or hospital because she would rather spend her time at home than hooked up to "things" in a hospital? Or is she not there yet, but suffering from illness and depression that could be successfully treated and her life prolonged in a reasonably happy and comfortable way? You may need an honest doctor to help you determine which is her state at this point. If her time is nigh and she doesn't wish to sucuomb in a hospital environment are you strong enough to help her through this last stage of life at home? There is usually support available if this is the decision made. In fact that can be a final gift of love.

I have been through a similar situation. Your mom may not want to face the fact that she is getting worse and needs help. She may also be afraid of going to the hospital...afraid that she won't be able to come home again. I would try to talk to her and get her to voluntarily go to the doctor. If that does not work, or if you think she needs more help, you may need to call an ambulance and have her taken to the hospital. I had to do that with my own mother.

You are only capable of dealing with so much on your own. You may need much more professional help with her. You could talk to your doctor about possibly getting an aide or a home-care nurse. I understand the strain it places on you. You should also ask your doctor or possibly a social worker at the hospital if it is possible for you to get some respite care - so you can have a break from the constant responsibility and strain.

I hate to say it, but you may also need to start preparing yourself for the worse. Especially if she is sleeping much more and won't eat very much.

I just want you to know that you are not the only person who has gone through this. Unfortunately, most of us have to deal with our parents' failing health and deaths. It is a very excruciating thing to live through. Try to get someone to relieve you so you can get out and "breathe" a little every week. Even if it is a neighbor coming in to stay with her for just a couple of hours once a week. You need to maintain your own sanity during this trying time.

I wish you and your mother the best. I hope things work out well for you both.

thank you all again so very much.
today she will be going to the doctor. i finally got her to agree to this.
i pray he will put her in hospital to see if she can be built up perhaps . otherwise, yes i also think she wants to pass away here at home and with Gods help i will have the strength to help care for her,
and i will have hospice come.
thank you all again.
you dont know what a help you all are at this painful time.