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Most Recent Posts Gray Days...Posted Jan-06-07 22:50:46 PST Updated Jan-08-07 07:13:12 PST As I sit here looking around my house and thinking how I am so lucky to really have most things I want but the only thing I do really want I cant have, like my dear old Grandfather dying in his bed as I'm writing this. He was in world war 2, he lived a life of elegance, title, respect and just overall love for his family hoping that one day we can all be normal..☺☺☺ Having hope in us to live the life we all wished and to also hope in what we can become. I sit here sadden that life is so hard to people that are in pain and just want to die, I also relise that when they die its us that are left running after the memories to try and bring them back to life and yet when they die do they really see us, do they really watch over us and is there no pain where they are? Its so hard to watch a person who was so healthy and full of life just want to die and just want to let go which he has. My dearest Granny whom I named my eBay store after (Nonni) was such a light in my life and had such venom to live, but as I turn back the pages in my head full of memories of her I remember how she had everything in place before she died and how even her underwear was washed and hanging up drying as like she just did it. She has such respect for herself and never wanted to be treated like a child changing their diapers which I did for her in her last days of life and I remember her saying to me "wash your hands". So my point is some people let go and some people hold on even if they are dying, my grandfather has let go and there is no hope to try and make him hold on as he has wanted to just be with her in heaven with his family and of course I understand that but what about us? What about me the little girl that would work with him in his work shop making heart shapes out of wood? The little girl that would sit on his lap as he sang french songs and the little girl that just loved him so? I just wish the pain you feel when you know they are going to die and there is NOTHING in the world to change that can be just removed from my heart as I have lost 2 very important people already in my life and now I am going to loose my Grandfather/father because there is not cure for cancer. I just want you all to know who ever reads this, dont take anything for granted as you really never know what tomorrow brings. Tell the people in your life that you love them and never hold back your feelings as you mite never be able to say what you feel again. What a great start to a New Year! Life is hard but its not meant to be easy..Posted Oct-21-06 21:08:00 PDT Updated May-03-07 16:49:35 PDT I think all the time what is life for, why do we have so much hate, pain? I am now getting to the point of almost growing up and understanding you can't change the world and you can't change people, but you know what I can change me!! I just wish I could understand why we were put here on earth? Well I am now over to making my life and family a better place and I just want my son to grow up knowing that there is love in the world and that not all people hate, kill. My life consistes of enjoying the small things, like going to my Mom's house every Tuesday and watching NIP/TUCK, talking all hours of the night about the "days", getting on eBay and finding a GREAT buy, lying in bed watching my son and husband sleep together, thinking of my late Grandma. I really think that money just can't buy you all of that and you see all those famous people with a life you wished you could have but then you think are they as happy? I look at them and sometimes wish I had all their money so I could do more for my family, give all the toys in the world to my son, buy the fastest car for my Hubby... but I know that if we did have all that money we would just pay to be together. So I guess what I am saying is that just be happy with who you are and not who you want to be cause no one is perfect and God sure is not!! Just enjoy the simple things in life and I can promise you it will make you more happier then money will ever. |
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