Christmas is coming!!

I am being reminded here on the blog!!

It used to be my favorite holiday but not anymore!!!  It is the hardest holiday for me since a long time.

1999 - First Christmas since separation

2000 - Another Christmas since separation

2001 - First Christmas since divorce and I went to TN away from family but come home and having mom say, I ruin Christmas.

2002 - The day depression hit, my family refused to sit with me on Christmas Eve service.  They wanted to sit with my aunt & uncle. I sit in front where there is interpreter.  That Christmas, I cried over every little things.  I didn't know what was wrong with me but look back, it was the start of depression.

2003 - Fight over my birthday and my sister said can never celebrate my birthday again.

2004 - Fight over me and causing the family to spilt.  I was not in the fight or saw it.  But my dad kicked them out of the house during dinner.  My aunts and cousins planned this fight if I did certain things for day and guess what I did. It was relating to depression and also was on new medicine and didn't adjust to it yet.

2005 - Very tense time due what happen last year and just my brother, sister family and parents. My mom blaming me for not having HER family over too as they refuse if I am there.  Dad said we will have Christmas with me.  If it was my mom's way, she say I can't join.

2006 - 3 days before Christmas, my best friend call my counselor about what was going on.  She told her to call the cop and cops came.  They basically told my parents that they cannot touch, yelled at me and they can't kicked me out of the house. Basically was told there are there for me and if problem, called them and they will document it in their report so if my parents take me to court, the department will show them the record about my parents. So very tense moments and went down in the black pit there. 

So what will 2007 bring????

This is the first time, I wish my birthday was not on Christmas!!!!  If only my friends were in town to celebrate with people I enjoyed!!!