I was checking out at the supermarket today, you know, the normal "paper-or-plastic" thing, and everthing was cool and flowing...until the bag-boy dropped my Extra-Large container of Scott Tissue on the floor. And I was like, "hey, accidents happen, whatever..." but then he just picked it up off of the floor and put it back in my cart like nothing happened! "Dude!" I exclaimed, "I was gonna wipe my butt with that!" Then we all had an uproariously good laugh. It was sweet! But I still made him go and get me a new Extra-Large Scott Tissue Pack. But he seemed a bit peeved. So I was like, "Dude, I use to bag, it's no bag thang, just like my butt-wipes pristang, DANG!"
But that just seemed to inflame his insane bagboy craziness, and he went upside my head. Hard.
Luckily, I had my helmet on. Can't tell you the number of times that's saved me. The one thing you should all do to help yourselves is: GET A GOOD HELMET.
And get with God. Amen.